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Bacon in the Sun

 

(To begin the embiggenation you crave, click any pig’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by No One Is Immune To Internet Ratings.

At first, this seems like a very dangerous situation for Señor Cerdo, because there are a lot of humans who cannot resist the smell of cooking pig. But fear not; Señor Cerdo is nobody’s fool––he and his esposa patronize exclusively swine-only beaches and they always make it back home with their bacon bits intact.
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Safety Scythe

(Search for the 8 Secret Symbols in the cartoon below by clicking on any skull.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Giving Mom Hidden Powers.

If you have kids, chances are that from time to time, your Sunday looks a bit like the scene above. That’s why it’s important to be certain the kids are using blunted weapons and farm implements in their playtime. You can never be too safe; as you can see, the Grim Reaper’s kids are using safety scythes even though they have no eyes to lose.
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Falling Sounds

(Your wish to embiggenate the cartoon below can be achieved by clicking the Northern White Cedar tree.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sexy Trees.

There have been many variations of the ancient philosophical question, “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?” This is, of course, an extremely anthropocentric question which ignores all of the other non-human ears in the forest, but that’s an issue for another forum.
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Eternal Slacking Laundry Jungle

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Young Vet In Training.

My, how time flies. Here it is today already and just 24 hours ago it was yesterday. Will it ever end? So far, it hasn’t, and that is the point of this cartoon. Eternity is a notoriously difficult concept for the human mind to grasp from inside our tiny fishbowl lives, but I find it very helpful to contemplate. (more…)

Cannibal Ghost Superman Dinner

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Gourmet Dining.

If you haven’t visited a KwikKannibal recently, you should. They have a new sausage sandwich that is filled with ground lips, ears, and nostrils––not the usual penis-on-a-bun that these kinds of places typically have. I recommend it.

My good buddy Cliff The King Of Wordplay came up with this delightful pun and I am pleased to present it to you today. I hope it made you giggle. Buy a print of this cartoon here. (more…)

Supercizing

Bizarro 06-08-14 HedrWEBBizarro 06-08-14 WEB(I beseech thee to view larger versions of these cartoons by clicking them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Anyone Know Who Did This Brilliant Cartoon?

As simple as this cartoon is, it was a pain in the cartoon ass to draw. One would think you could draw that damned treadmill once and then clone it but no, each is at a completely different angle and perspective so they all have to be drawn separately. Making them look identical was a chore. Notice I didn’t try to draw a gym full of workout machines behind them. Ugh! (more…)

Tryptich

bz panel 09-04-13pantsbz strip 09-04-13pantsbz panel 09-05-13shoesbz strip 09-05-13shoesbz panel 09-06-13clarkbz strip 09-06-13clarkBizarro is brought to you today by The Women of Idaho.

I’m way behind on the blog this week, Jazz Pickles, because I’ve been hammering on cartoons all week so I could get out of town this weekend. I’m going to Sacramentos to do a little comedy show at a restaurant (see previous post) and I hope some of you will be there! (more…)

Apologies

Bz panel 07-04-13Bizarro is brought to you today by the Mullerm (mullet/perm combo).

bz strip 07-04-13Here in the United States, we are celebrating the day that our Declaration of Independence from British rule was signed. I sincerely hope that my British readers will not be offended. It wasn’t that we didn’t like you or thought you were, it’s just that this country has always been a magnet for yahoos and wackjobs and you’d just really have to be out of your mind to try to rule us, especially from a few thousand miles away. So it wasn’t you, we’d have done the same thing even if cuddly teddy bears and unicorns that pooped gold were in charge. (more…)

Bat Kent

Bizarro is brought to you today by Amazing Disguises.

I love this gag because even as a little boy I wondered why no one knew Clark Kent was Superman. I mean, he has the same exact voice and head of Clark Kent, but no glasses. Really? Is a pair of glasses frames with no lenses in them all it takes to fool the residents of Metropolis? Of course, what do you expect from a town whose criminals all dress up like they’re going to perform at a children’s birthday party. (more…)

Egyptian Super Balls

Bizarro is brought to you by Spelling Bees.

I like cartoons about hieroglyphics and have done them before. Here’s one of my faves. This one came from my buddy, Cliff, who is a master of word play. He has a unique way of thinking about language that always really tickles me.

 

 

 

 

In our next panel we see a man getting ready for a massage with a jackhammer. Oh my, that could kill him. But wait, no it can’t, because he’s Superman. Whew! (more…)

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