Feedbag

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(Click the pictures I have left here for greater embiggenation.)

NOTE: AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST ARE THE DETAILS OF TWO, FREE COMEDY TALKS I’M DOING THIS WEEK IN PASADENA, CALIFORNIA! HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Times.

This is the second cartoon I’ve done recently about large, lumpy surgical masks. (Here is the other.) Sometimes when I’m gag writing I think of a joke that leads to another similar one. If they are different enough, I’ll use them both. A few times in the past, I’ve challenged myself to come up with enough jokes on a particular topic to run an entire week. I did that once in 2002 with dry cleaner gags, shown below. One of my favorite aspects of this series was the signs in each gag about what happens to customers’ clothes left too long. You’ll need to click each one to temporarily embiggenate it so you can read those signs.
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Reindeer Games and Predators

Bizarro 12-21-14 hdrBizarro 12-21-14 WEBbz panel 12-19-14bz strip 12-19-14bz panel 12-20-14bz strip 12-20-14bz 12-20-07XmasWEB(For embiggenated views of any of these cartoons, tap it with your pointy thing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Hilarity of Horror.

Can you believe it’s Christmas week again? It’s been about a year since the last one, so yes, I can. But doesn’t it seem that the older you get, the more often Christmas comes around?  I’d like to propose that we change it from once a year to once every 75 years, to coincide with Halley’s Comet. That way plastic nativity scenes on front lawns can benefit from the more realistic “star”.
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Mojo Clown Fly Game

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Stowaway.

Pharmaceutical companies have known how to prevent bad juju for decades, but there is so much money in mojo treatment that they’ve buried the cure. Sometimes capitalism sucks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t know the song this cartoon refers to, you likely have no idea what this is about. If you do know it, though, it’s a real kick in the pants. Here it is but be warned: it’s a pretty insidious earworm. (more…)

Where The Heart Is

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Yes. Obviously. Duh.

 

 

Here’s one of those rare cartoons that came from my own personal experience. It documents how I lost my medical license, which is why I became a cartoonist. I’ve yet to fully replace my income as a surgeon, however.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you heard any of my music? I have four original songs on this EP and I’d love it if you gave them a listen and enjoyed them thoroughly. It’s not a money-making project, for sure, but the songs cost 99 cents each. SO CHEAP compared to all the laughs I’ve given you over the years! Find it on Amazon, iTunes, or any of those streaming things like Spotify. They aren’t comedy songs, but some of the lyrics are perhaps a bit amusing. Here’s one from a song on this album called “Brooklyn”–– (more…)

Hot Tub Surgery Funeral

bz panel 03-03-14 bz panel 03-04-14bz strip 03-04-14Want to be notified by email each time I post something new? Drop your email address into the slot below the Tip Jar in the right margin! I won’t abuse it!

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Part-Time Job.

As I’ve mentioned here before, I can’t stand the idea of working for a company and having to go to meetings. Most people find a way to get through it, some probably actually enjoy it, but we artistic types live primarily inside our own heads so it is difficult for us to pay attention to people talking for long periods of time. No amount of note-taking would work for me. I’d forever be wondering what was said and then I’d get fired. A hot tub would help, though. (more…)

Shaggy Dogg Storry

bz panel 11-25-13bz strip 11-25-13bz panel 11-26-13bz strip 11-26-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Luchador.

Welcome to Twofer Tuesday. The “two” in twofer stands for two cartoons, as you have most certainly figured out if your brain function is anywhere close to normal.

The reason I often post two cartoons on Tuesday is because I was too busy on Monday to post. The reason I’m often too busy on Monday to post is that that is the day that I am supposed to send in a new week’s worth of cartoons to King Features but I’ve rarely got them done and don’t feel I can waste any time posting. The reason I’ve rarely got them done is because on weekends I am either too busy or too lazy to get much work done. (On a really good weekend, it is both.) The reason I say “lazy” is because I love few things more than lounging around on Sundays watching football with my goddam dog, Jemima, who sleeps on my lap. The reason she’s a “goddam” dog is because when I leave her home alone for too long (more than 90 seconds) she finds something of mine to drag out to the backyard and chew on. To date, she has destroyed two pairs of my shoes, a pair of motorcycle glasses, numerous socks (I assume they’ve been destroyed because they’ve been missing for a long time) a pair of pants, a glove, a stocking cap (Canadians: what you amusingly call a “tuke” or “toque”) a TV remote, over 850 pounds of trash and recycling (her favorite treat when I forget to put the recycling bin out of reach) a bunch of bananas, and the wooden gate separating my yard from the neighbor’s. (more…)

Sick Of It

bz panel 08-13-13bz strip 08-13-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Falcon in a Tree.

I’ve gone on record many times about how much I despise the American medical system. Not the doctors and nurses who do the dirty work, but the pay structure and especially the insurance industry. It’s nothing short of legalized extortion. So this cartoon is about that. Not particularly brilliant or funny, but it made me feel better for a few minutes when I drew it. (more…)