Deadly Sins of Humor

Click any image to embiggenate it.Bizarro 08-16-15 hdrWEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Future Fashion Trends of the Universe.
Bizarro 08-16-15 WEBI hope you find this gag as humorous as I do. I was musing one day about Disney’s Seven Dwarves and the general personality types evident in their names and suddenly made a leap to the Catholic Church’s ancient seven deadly sins, which are wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, pride, envy, and lust. So I came up with seven dwarf-like names for each of these vices and I had a cartoon. I badly wanted “Frisky” to be named “Horny,” but that word is too scary for newspaper funny pages. bz panel 08-10-15Following is last week’s roundup, starting with this cartoon about the ultra eco-friendly Flintstone mobile. It is said that everything comes back into style eventually and the way our little life raft’s climate is changing, we may all be living in the Stone Age again one day.  bz panel 08-11-15This cartoon about an auction house harkens back to another famous Disney animated film, Cinderella. You may recall that her carriage on that magical night was made from a pumpkin and the horses that pulled it were rats or mice. Memory panel 08-12-15I’m no more certain of what this sheep cartoon means than you probably are, so I’ll just let it sit and be whatever you want it to be. bz panel 08-13-15Since I was a child I’ve questioned our species’ shame over our bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a nudist and am just as vulnerable to feelings of embarrassment about such things as the average person because that’s the way I was raised, but I am able to intellectually see the ridiculousness of it. To me, it is clearly an attempt to control our sexuality, which became more important around 10,000 years ago when agriculture was invented and people began “owning” things and thus wanting to pass them down to their own offspring. I’m convinced that before that humans were much more liberal sexually, which is closer to our biological nature. That’s why monogamy is so difficult for most of us. For more fascinating info on this kind of thing, read “Sex at Dawn” by Christopher panel 08-14-15This is a simple turn-around joke but I still really like it. A “lap dog” could either be one that sits on your lap or one that has a lap you could sit on. In the bottom corner you’ll notice a birthday message to my lovely life partner, Olive Oyl. I did that because it was her birthday. Since we are both motorcycle enthusiasts, we took a ride on our bikes to a small, SoCal town and spent the night in a campy old motel that has been renovated for hipsters like us. It was fun. bz panel 08-15-15My Saturday gag for the week is about a lazy musician’s clever invention. I love that it works as a graphic because that’s how you’d draw a fast moving bow, but in reality, it wouldn’t look like it was moving at all. Hahaha. My eldest daughter, Krapuzar, was a pretty talented violinist as a kid and I still occasionally think of violin gags as a result.

I’d like to invite you to follow me on Instagram where I post very weird images from my sketchbooks, and will eventually be posting pics of my fine art, which I’m doing more of these days. @danpiraro is my handle or name or whatever they call it over there. I’d also like to remind you that if you like any of my sketchbook images, I can do a similar one just for you on a fancy-schmancy sketchcard of my own design. You can order one or just chat with me about it by filling out the contact form at the bottom of this page.


Mass Entertainment

bizarro 10-05-14 hdrWEB Bizarro 10-05-14 WEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Wildlife Sighting.

I wrote today’s cartoon with the “dumbing down” of American audiences in mind but I used gross exaggerations to do it. I’m not one to have season tickets to the symphony, either (though I’ve been a few times and enjoyed it) and most Americans wouldn’t watch a man eat a piano for long, but there are plenty who would. As I think about it now, though, there has always been a wide audience for lowbrow entertainment and a smaller one for higher quality endeavors of any kind, so this is nothing new. Even in Shakespeare’s time, the theater across the street was offering amateur juggling competitions called “England’s Got Balls,” and these shows were much more popular than Hamlet and the like.

I’ve recently been intimately involved in a reality show here in the U.S. called “Utopia.” I am only the host and narrator so I have no control over the show whatsoever, but it has been my first close look at this kind of programming. I’ve never watched a reality show before, so it’s been an education for me. As a member of the show, I’ve got to watch all of the episodes, usually more than once, to learn the plot lines and personalities so I can apply the correct emphasis to my lines. This is not only my first time viewing a reality show but the first time I’ve been required to watch any TV program. I have to admit that over time, however, I’ve become interested and invested in the people on this show.

But my taste is more towards the eccentric, so I am not as interested in the “normal” people on the show (if any of them can truly be called normal) and more fascinated by people like ex-convict Dave, who couldn’t seem to go more than a few hours without blowing up, intimidating people, and applying the tenets of jail-yard politics to the most miniscule situations, and Hillbilly Red, who is so  melodramatically independent that he could barely make it through a single episode without seceding from the rest of the group because he was not acknowledged as having the most important opinion on everything from money management to seating arrangements at the communal table. Now that they are gone, I’m counting on Bella to stop behaving herself (a recent development but one I hope doesn’t last) and Taylor and Hex breaking up and challenging each other to a cage fight. (BTW, my money would be on Hex) Of course, without Red there, I’m not sure if any of the remaining cast have the skills to build a decent cage. Time will tell.

There are two “newtopians” in the compound, vying for the spot of Red, who was voted out this past week. After a few days, the rest will vote on which one they will allow to stay. I know which one I’d choose––the weirdest one––but I’m not saying which one I think that is. Some people have suggested I be the next “pioneer,” but I don’t think living with a cigar-smoking, wise-ass, vegan cartoonist is anyone’s idea of utopia. Except my beloved Olive Oyl, of course.

BIZARRCHIVES: From 1999 is this “modern” take on “Gilligan’s Island,” a show that was popular in the 1960s. It occurred to me while writing this post that this was a show that attempted to do with scripted comedy what many reality shows do today; put an odd group of people who would never know each other in real life into a situation in which they have to cope and survive. In my updated version, the show never takes place because everyone has a way of connecting to the rest of the world and they get rescued the same day. Note that “beepers” were still in the mix back then. biz34tscGilliganWEB