Born Adults

Bizarro 05-22-16 HdrWEB

(A simple click of any illustration here will delightfully embiggenate it.)
Bizarro 05-22-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Enduring Myths.

Today’s Sunday cartoon is a soft joke but one that made me smile. The mythical notion of humans just popping up in life as full-grown, modern adults and trying to negotiate the world around them is always amusing to me, but this is a wrinkle I’ve never thought of before. The utterly casual callousness of Adam and Eve as the quintessential “new parents” is devilishly delightful: “Sorry kid. We have no idea what we’re doing, and how could we?” I felt that way with my first daughter, who was born a full decade before I had any business being a parent.
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Sex Preachin’

bizarro 04-05-15 hdrWEb1Bizarro 04-05-15 WEB(Hankerin’ for a bigger look? Click the cartoons.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sex.

All of the cartoons from this week are self explanatory (as a cartoon should be) but I have a few things to say about the last one posted here: two ladies at a sidewalk cafe talking about an old boyfriend. I suggest you read all of these cartoons, then come back here for my commentary.
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The Week in Wackadoodle

bizarro 01-11-15 hdr WEBBizarro 01-11-15 WEBbz panel 01-05-15bz strip 01-05-15bz panel 01-06-15bz strip 01-06-15bz panel 01-07-15bz strip 01-07-15bz panel 01-08-15bz strip 01-08-15bz panel 01-09-15bz strip 01-09-15bz panel 01-10-15bz strip 01-10-15Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Kind of Drum Music.

My big Sunday cartoon today (click it to make it bigger) is about a topic that has been on my mind a bit lately. I ride motorcycles and a bicycle through the streets of Los Angeles and cannot tell you the number of times I’ve almost been mowed down by someone messing with their smartphone while they are supposed to be driving. Seriously, people, is your Facebook status or that text that just came in worth spending time in prison for manslaughter? But, like all dark clouds, there is a silver lining: I never wait in traffic lines anymore when I need to get over into a crowded lane. I just go past the traffic, then slowly and calmly move into the desired lane at the last minute in any one of several huge gaps left by people who are looking at their smartphones instead of moving when it’s their turn. Most of them don’t even notice I’m cutting in line because to do that, they’d have to be paying attention to what can be seen through the windshield of their car.
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Below Deck

Bizarro 04-27-14 hdrWEBBizarro 04-27-14 WEB(Click on anyone’s nose to get a larger image.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Japanese TV of the 1960s.

I like today’s gag because it’s one of those that doesn’t quite click (for most readers) until they read the dialogue balloon, then search around the image for what it means. I used to have one of those mirror periscope toys when I was a kid. I don’t know why it was fun to see around corners but it was. There was invariably nothing of great interest to see that I couldn’t have witnessed by walking around the corner, but imagination is a powerful thing. (more…)

Not So “L”

bz panel 04-22-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Inappropriate Reading.

Gosh darn it. No sooner do I switch back to blogging every day, I get busy and have to neglect two days in a row. I have brought shame to my entire village.

Regarding this cartoon: if you’re under forty, you likely don’t remember libraries. They are big buildings where people put a lot of books of all kinds so that when TV, the Internet, and e-books finally take over for good and we decide there is no further use for physical books, they’ll all be in centrally located places for ease of burning. (more…)

Bum Head Hunchback Lion Mime Self Signs

(Doth thee desire to view this cartoon biggeth? If so, clicketh the plaid shorts.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Robot Bunny.

It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, but I don’t live in Lake Wobegon and that’s one reason why I haven’t posted on this blog all week. I live in LA and it’s been busy here. Since I last posted, Rodney King died. I rioted for three days but no one noticed. After that, Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on 45 of the 48 charges he was on trial. YES! I knew that charge 47 was bogus! When I heard the verdict, I considered rioting again, just for good measure, but I was still tired from the Rodney King thing. (more…)

Stingy Air Fingers

Bizarro is brought to you today by Free Eeyore!

Good day to you, Bizarro Jazz Pickles. It is another beautiful day here in SoCal –– sunny and 70º –– which was a big reason for my moving here, so I’m happy about that. The amount I’m saving on crazy pills (anti-depressants) alone is paying for half of my rent. (more…)

Clones, Babies, Honey, Mom

Bizarro is brought to you today by How To Treat Heat Prostration.

I have been remiss in my blogging responsibilities of late. Spending a week one block from Hell will do that to a person. I was in Texas and Oklahoma visiting family and experienced the daily 100+ degrees of what is being called “the worst heat wave in the history of this area this month.” Oklahoma isn’t actually Hell, but you can easily walk to it from there. Daily highs averaged around 106, the high temperature I experienced was 111 degrees on Saturday. At midnight, when the city was quiet and temps are still in the high 90s, you could hear Satan laughing as he watched reruns of Two and a Half Men. It was chilling, but not in a way that made it any cooler. (more…)