Prank Blog Breakup Cauliflower

Bizarro 12-28-14 hdr Bizarro 12-28-14 WEB(For a larger view, click any dang image in this post.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Santa Gives Birth.

I hope you all had a happy holiday thing, whatever that might mean for you. As for me, I couldn’t be happier that it’s over. In spite of my affinity for the occasional stage performance, I’m actually an introvert and so the rapid succession of parties and family get-togethers really takes a toll on me. I’m looking forward to a few months without obligatory socializing.
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Casual Probing Racism Comb-over

bz panel 09-15-14bz strip 09-15-14bz panel 09-16-14bz strip 09-16-14bz panel 09-17-14bz strip 09-17-14Bizarro is brought to you today by How To Fill A Diaper.

I moved from NYC to LA a few years ago and have become even more keenly aware of the differences in their cultures than I was when I was only visiting here. Life in California is generally so much more relaxed than in NYC, which isn’t surprising, but the effect it has on people is glorious. The average person on the street––behind a counter or reception desk, answering a phone call for a business, driving a bus, etc.––is friendlier by a factor of 6.3 (by my unofficial calculations) than their East Coast counterparts. I love that about the West. Thinking along this line, I couldn’t help imagining the clash between how things are done in offices in the east compared to the west. (more…)

Jobs Imposter Indians Indians

bz panel 07-14-14bz strip 07-14-14bz panel 07-15-14bz strip 07-15-14bz panel 07-16-14bz strip 07-16-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Immigration Ego Battles.

This first cartoon was inspired by the fact that I’ve got a couple of very smart, hardworking, talented, adult daughters who found it very difficult to find meaningful work when they graduated college. Of course, their degrees in 16th century transportation innovations of the Berbers, and Poetry of the Malagasy Republic may have something to do with it, but still. You’d think someone would want to hire these amazing young women that I personally groomed to be valuable contributors to the planet. Even so, I’m happy to report that both are living indoors and eating daily and that neither has ever worked for life-destroying corporations like McDonalds. (more…)

Guns and Salad

bizarro 05-25-14 hedrBizarro 05-25-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Land of the Free.

 

For those Jazz Pickles who have never been to a U.S. state that allows random citizens to carry firearms (yes, Europe, we have those) you’ve never likely seen a sign on the door of a shop that says to check your gun at the door. And you’ve almost certainly never seen one of these. (more…)

Saw Bones

bz panel 06-27-13bz strip 06-27-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Wonders of X-Rays.

Some readers will doubtless wonder why I reversed the image between the panel and strip version of this cartoon, so to save myself multiple responses, here’s why: A properly-constructed joke has the punch line as far toward the end as possible. When I’m drawing a visual joke such as this one, I ask myself which is funnier, to read the words then see the pic, or vice versa? This one could’ve gone either way, really, but I decided that knowing the patient is the Grim Reaper makes reading the words a little funnier. In the panel version, of course, the words are always at the top so there isn’t as much choice, but since the image is more compact, the mind sees the whole thing at once anyway. In some cartoons, I try my best to lead the reader’s eye from one thing to the next, arriving at the punch line (be it verbal or visual) last. (more…)

Sproing Talk Acknowledgement Shred Pee Flake Underpants

(To enlarge this tragic moment in time, click the unfortunate diver’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hall and Oates.

I’ve done plenty of crash test dummy gags over the years and I’ll likely continue because it’s just so much fun. They’re such great spokesmen for the foibles of the human race. (Legal Disclaimer: I should say now that these are professionally trained stunt dummies and that you should not try this yourself, but I won’t. If you’re stupid enough to knowingly jump into an empty swimming pool, it would be better if you didn’t live long enough to reproduce.) (more…)

Sunday Punnies #22

(To see this comic up as big as the chip on your little brother’s shoulder, click it NOW!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by My Little Brother.

As you may have heard in the exercise yard, the puns that are illustrated in my “Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies” series are submitted by readers. If you’d like to see one of your puns in a future Sunday Punnies, submit it (them) here in the comments section. (more…)