Lettuce Pray

(For those who are curious about the emgiggenation arts, click any image.)

At this writing we are two days away from celebrating what may be America’s last birthday and that’s the reason for this patriotic cartoon. It might not seem patriotic at first, but consider this:

Scientific consensuses are rare but recent polls have shown that the overwhelming majority of science professionals agree that large-scale head transplant programs are America’s best hope of ever returning to something remotely resembling sanity. Accordingly, for the sake of our democracy,  I support experimental efforts like the one above. The sooner we perfect these procedures, the sooner we’ll get out of this nightmare.
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Coincidental Comedy

(For an embiggenation experience, click any object without corners in any image.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tray of Voyeurs.

We had a busy week at Rancho Bizarro. As I mentioned in last week’s post, we adopted a Mexican street dog as a companion to our dog, Jemima, whom we brought down here to Mexico from what used to be the United States. The new dog is four months old and is recovering from a broken leg which she sustained from an unsuccessful encounter with an automobile while she was still on the streets. Today’s cartoon is about a dog in a cone collar because of an injury to its rear hip area, which is exactly where our dog’s stitches are (from the surgery that inserted a metal pin) and what’s notable about that is that I wrote and drew this cartoon four weeks ago, before I knew of our new dog’s existence. Spooky? Only if you’re prone to reading coincidences as messages from another dimension. Still, it’s kind of funny.
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Mouth Using

(If you wish to embiggenate any of these cartoons, close your eyes, click your heels three times and click them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Anger Management.

As regular readers know, I enjoy doing fake magazine covers from time to time. It’s a fun way to use wordplay in a slightly more sophisticated way than just illustrating a pun. The basic idea for this one came from a reader who goes by the suspicious name of Kevin Bartlett. (It’s the perfect name for someone trying to “hide in plain sight,” wouldn’t you agree? I’m guessing he’s at least got credit problems if he isn’t actually in a witness protection program.) Anyway, “Kevin” envisioned a guy holding a magazine called “Parts of Speech” and saying he only reads it for the articles.
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Descent of Man

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(Any cartoon may be embiggenated by clicking any shadow in that image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Patterns.

Wow, what a week, Jazz Pickles. First, let’s discuss today’s Sunday cartoon, shown above. As a residence of the Los Angeles area for the past five years, traffic is always on my mind. This is a place with too many cars, which is why my beloved Olive Oyl (O2) and I ride motorcycles whenever we can. California is the only state where it is legal to ride between lanes and in LA traffic, it is often the only way to get home from the grocery store before tomorrow.
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Gum Delay

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(Click any rectangular object in any cartoon to embiggenate it.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Strange Girl Next Door.

Today’s big Sunday cartoon is about the mixed bag of convenience we get from technology. Historically speaking, each generation witnesses more change than the ones before it. A couple of thousand years ago, a person was lucky to come across a single new invention in their entire lifetime. Five hundred years ago, you might see two or three in a lifetime. A hundred years ago, during the Industrial Revolution, things really heated up and people’s heads were spinning with new inventions coming at them at the alarming speed of one every five years or so. Today, in the time it has taken me to type this paragraph, there have been as many new inventions as there are letters typed. How do I know this? Because of a little invention called lying with authority. I made all these figures up, but I’m guessing they’re more-or-less historically true up to that last one about each letter of this paragraph.
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Seeing/Believing

 

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(To embiggenate any image, click on your favorite color in that cartoon.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by A Reason To Look Forward To Mondays. Or Not.

I’ve enjoyed optical illusions since childhood, so this cartoon about them was fun to draw. Unfortunately, you can’t incorporate most optical illusions into a street scene (like this one, which only appears to be moving), so I had to rely on tricks of perspective and such, most of which were inspired by the great draftsman, M. C. Escher. I don’t know how many illusions there are in this picture, but here’s a list of the ones I can see. 1) Window at top left is the wrong perspective for that wall 2) Pie in lower left corner is too far back not to hit wall (which also makes it look like it’s floating) 3) Man’s foot disappears behind line where sidewalk joins the wall 4) Same man has classic optical illusion on T-shirt (both lines are the same length) 5) Same man’s face looks like a different man’s face if you turn it upside down (an ancient classic illusion) 6) Stick inside folded sign is wrong perspective 7) Man giving money could not reach hat from where he stands 8) Street lamp across street crosses in front of wall in foreground 9) Boy stealing hat from across street 10) Stairs inside doorway across the street are sideways 11) Tire on sports car (1971 Fiat X1/9, by request from a reader) is wrong perspective. 12) background colors on sign is the classic box illusion, seen here. That’s all I can find, let me know if you find more. I didn’t list the two bunnies or the upside-down bird because those things could exist in that space.
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Born Adults

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(A simple click of any illustration here will delightfully embiggenate it.)
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Bizarro is brought to you today by Enduring Myths.

Today’s Sunday cartoon is a soft joke but one that made me smile. The mythical notion of humans just popping up in life as full-grown, modern adults and trying to negotiate the world around them is always amusing to me, but this is a wrinkle I’ve never thought of before. The utterly casual callousness of Adam and Eve as the quintessential “new parents” is devilishly delightful: “Sorry kid. We have no idea what we’re doing, and how could we?” I felt that way with my first daughter, who was born a full decade before I had any business being a parent.
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Bark Bark

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(To embiggenate any cartoon, click it or something.)Bizarro 11-15-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Making the Best of a Plumbing Leak.

I watched a lot of episodes of “Lassie” when I was a kid and they were all pretty much like this: Lassie and the boy are wandering around killing time, the boy gets in trouble (trapped somewhere), Lassie runs back to the adults and barks at them, they follow him to the boy and save him. It was dull by modern TV standards and I can’t say that I watched it for entertainment as much as for the comfort that comes from predictability. Like the reason people used to be hooked on the comic strip “Nancy” when still drawn by Bushmiller. You knew it would be a shamelessly corny joke every day and you were never wrong. There’s something comforting about that.
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Shower Willies for Trump

Bizarro is brought to you today by Zach Galifianakis in Disguise on the Subway.

As readers of this blog know, I’m no friend to the current epidemic of so-called “reality” shows. Nor prime-time game shows which are often the same thing. Give me actors, scripts, stories and creativity any day. And, because I’m a human being with a normal tolerance for repulsiveness, I’m not a fan of Donald Trump, either. Just drawing this caricature of him (and I’m pretty proud of the result, given that caricaturism is a specific art form of which I am not greatly experienced) gave me a major case of the willies. What a creepy human he is, on so, so many levels. (more…)