Game Show

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(If ye seek embiggenation, clicketh any image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Magic.

Today’s cartoon would have been more appropriate around Columbus Day, but given that the United States accidentally elected a reality show host as president and given his attitudes toward non-white people, it seems relevant now, too. I’ve long despised our tradition of honoring Christopher Columbus with a holiday; he was by all accurate accounts a terrible person who neither proved the world was round nor was the first European to discover the Americas (as I was erroneously taught in elementary school in the 1960s), and he murdered more than 100,000 indigenous people for commercial gain.
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Evil Turkey Stuffing Aliens

bz panel 11-24-14bz strip 11-24-14bz panel 11-25-14bz strip 11-25-14bz panel 11-26-14bz strip 11-26-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Being Your Own Pet.

An email buddy of mine, Michael Lagace, sent me the idea of an “evil Knievel” twin and this is how I used it. I had a good time drawing Evel, as he was one of my childhood heroes. The kids in my neighborhood and I used to build ramps out of plywood and stacks of old tires or whatever we could get hold of to prop it up, then jump our bicycles over it at great speed. Yes, it was dangerous, and bones were broken. For all I know, Knievel may be the person for whom the ubiquitous statement, “Don’t try this at home!” was invented.
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Thought Food

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(For a largerized view, click the 46th turkey from the left.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Discriminatory Food.

I’m fairly well known for being a vegan buzzkill on Thanksgiving but I can’t help it. I’ve long thought the arrogance of we humans believing that everything is here for us to use as haphazardly as our whims dictate, is embarrassing to our species. Biologically, humans don’t “need” to eat meat (unless we are starving in a place without plants, like the Arctic) we eat it because it tastes good. On top of that, our bodies aren’t constructed to process meat very well, which is why it gives us heart attacks, strokes, obesity, etc. You don’t see “true” meat eaters in the wild with these problems. So when you weigh tastes good against the suffering and misery of creatures that are more like us than not, it seems to me a glaring inequity. (more…)

Xmas comiX

‘Twas the night before Christmas and I was too lazy to type out “it was.”

For your holiday amusement, I present today’s cartoon PLUS a few of my favorite Bizarro cartoons from past years. Feel free to copy, save, forward, post, etc. Have a happy and prosperous whatever you’re having, Jazz Pickles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mao Dummy Alien Cat Pee God Santa Nixon Crook

 

(To see this cartoon as big as China, click on Mao’s third button.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hover Cats.

I’ve been away for a while visiting my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was asked to deliver the commencement address at their midterm graduation and had a ball doing it. As many times as I have spoken and performed in public, I was pretty nervous. Big crowd, lots of big brains, funny outfits, a giant basketball scoreboard with a live video feed of me talking hanging over the center of the room right in front of me. To top it all off, I couldn’t see my notes so I had to mostly wing it. I guess it went okay. (more…)

Traitor Crowded Dragster

Bizarro is brought to you today by Cannibals.

This cartoon is an offshoot of a feeling I’ve had since I was a child, some 30 years before I became vegan. Why would an animal want to advertise its own murder and consumption? Long before I thought it was wrong to eat animals, when I was still under 10 years old, I wondered why a happy pig would be on a sign for a BBQ restaurant. It just seemed wrong somehow. So here is a cartoon that took 40 years gestate. (more…)

Shag Dark Ghost Corpse

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pilgrims and Indians.

Well, if all goes as planned, today is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.  The holiday supported by a coloring book story about pilgrims and native Americans getting together peacefully (for the last time?) to have dinner and give thanks or something. We celebrate this by, and as an ethical vegan I cannot resist saying this, slaughtering millions of innocent beings who’ve lived their short lives in uncomfortable captivity so we can gorge ourselves like gluttons. In December, the massacre starts all over again in the name of “peace on Earth.” Whatever. (more…)