Alt Tarzan

Bizarro 03-22-15 hdrBizarro 03-22-15 WEB(Nobody will mind if you make these cartoons larger by clicking them. Try it. You’ll see.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Horseracing Cheaters.

Last Sunday I published a cartoon with soldiers on a statue of a pigeon (this week’s title panel was constructed from it, in fact!) so this makes it two Sunday’s in a row that I’ve featured a cartoon with a human on a statue. This kind of thing often happens to cartoonists; one idea leads to another idea in the same vein. I like this one about Tarzan being raised in a city park instead of the jungles of Africa. The perspective was fun to draw and it has a few behind-the-scenes aspects that truly dedicated Jazz Pickles might find interesting: The statue’s plaque features a name that is similar to my fiance-in-law who is an award-winning brewmaster, the speaking character looks more-or-less like me a couple decades ago, the name on the back of his jersey refers to my lovely life partner, Olive Oyl, and the 13 is my daughter’s birth date (the one engaged to my fiance-in-law.) Lastly, more observant readers will notice that I tucked Tarzan’s loin cloth beneath him, thus obscuring an unpleasant view. You’re welcome. bz panel 03-16-15 bz panel 03-17-15 bz panel 03-18-15 bz panel 03-19-15bz strip 03-19-15bz panel 03-20-15 bz panel 03-21-15
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Flathead Funnies

bz panel 10-28-13bz strip 10-28-13bz panel 10-29-13bz strip 10-29-13Bizarro is brought to yourself today by Albert Frank Einstein.

Since I’m behind on the blog this week, this is another omnibus posting. Sorry about that, JPs.

It’s Halloween week here in Southern California so I’m using gags about scary monsters that I’ve been saving all year. My buddy, Dan McConnell thinks up a lot of monster gags so he may be disproportionately represented this week. Oh! Here’s one now; Frankenstein shoe shopping. McC may have gotten this idea from a gay Halloween parade, which are the best kinds of Halloween parades there are, in my heterosexual opinion. (more…)

Impending Gore

bz panel 10-25-13bz strip 10-25-13Bizarro is brought to you today by This Bizarro Cartoon.

It’s almost Halloween here in the United States so here are a couple of cartoons to help get you in the mood. For my foreign readers, Halloween is a holiday during which Americans celebrate evil, violence, and superstition by wearing clothing and accessories that are intended to disgust, frighten, or amuse others. And, like all holidays, we add alcoholic beverages to heighten the experience. Often, we will dress our children in similarly grotesque or fanciful outfits and send them out after dark to beg for food at the homes of strangers. (more…)

Suck or Eat?

bz panel 09-26-13bz strip 09-26-13bz 10-29-12 VAMPIRE Xbz 10-29-12 VAMPIREBizarro was brought to you today by Hair Care.

Here’s a story that demonstrates the kind of ambiguous rules that the newspaper comics business operate under.

Back in October of 2012, one year ago, the vampire cartoon below was rejected as being too suggestive to run in newspapers, purely because it contains the word, “suck,” which newspaper comics editors dislike because it can be interpreted to allude to fellatio. (As though a vampire would be referring to homosexual prostitution as opposed to good-old-fashioned murder of a mortal.) So, I changed the comic to the second version, “Why lie? Need blood.” It’s okay but not as funny as the original, in my opinion. But that brings us to today’s cartoon, a mere year later, which raised no eyebrows at all. Huh? (more…)

Bitter Pachyderm Philtrum Swashbuckling Drinker Teen Whale

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Time Magazine.

“If you’re only reading the cartoons on BizarroBlog, you’re missing most of Piraro’s genius.”––Time Magazine

Okay, that never appeared in Time Magazine. But from some of the comments that readers make, I know that plenty of people are only scanning the cartoons briefly and skipping all of this delicious text that I pour so much of my heart and soul into. So I thought maybe a phony quote would encourage them to read on. Am I a bad man? Yes, but it has nothing to do with that phony quote. (more…)

Zombie Mummy Vampire Pirate Toado

Bizarro is brought to you today by He Man.

Here are five cartoons leading up to Halloween. If you are from a country which does not celebrate Halloween and you have never heard of it, it is a holiday at the end of October during which we Americans disguise our children as murderers, monsters, and demons and send them door to door asking for handouts. (more…)