“Royal” Proclamation

bz panel 11-14-13bz strip 11-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by On The Floor?

Greetings, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been doing some thinking about my role in the Bizarro Empire and have been wondering if the moniker I’ve been using to refer to myself, “Supreme Jazz Pickle,” properly denotes the extreme honor and privilege of my office as leader of such an impressive empire of funny and smart people as you, my beloved Jazz Pickles. (more…)

Screw That

bz panel 10-10-13bz strip 10-10-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Dignified Americans.

This is one of those cartoons that I wasn’t sure they’d let me get away with. Americans can be incredibly sensitive to language issues and so editors often won’t print cartoons that have certain kinds of words, ones that may refer to sexual acts are an especially huge red flag. But this one sailed through without a hitch (although I sometimes find out later that a given newspaper somewhere did not run a gag like this and substituted an old one in its place.) We’ll see. (more…)


Bizarro is brought to you today by Future Criminals of America.

This cartoon is, of course, a parody of the classic “good cop, bad cop” routine. If you’re not an aficionado of crime dramas or have never been arrested for a major crime and interrogated, it goes something like this: A tough cop begins the interrogation and roughs the suspect up a bit, screaming and yelling and pretending he’s going to go postal, then a nicer cop steps in, stops him, and says something like, “Look, I can’t control this guy forever, you’d better give me a little info to settle him down or I can’t guarantee your safety. Here’s a cigarette and a Coke.” The bad guy frightens the crook, the nice guy gets him to talk. (more…)

French Wine Vote Flash Bowl

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hamsters Gone Wild.

Here in the United States of America, we celebrate our Independence from British tyranny each July 4th. We do this by staging mock, decorative war in the skies over our towns and cities. If these faux wars are this beautiful, imagine how breathtaking real war must be! (more…)

Sunday Punnies #21

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Double Entendre Road.

Welcome to my blog, where you’ll see my daily cartoons and most of you will ignore the things I write about them. If you’re one of those who just pops in to read the cartoons and are skipping the hilarious prose that accompanies them, you’re missing some of the best parts: funny ideas and words like “juice,” “parachutes,” “careening,” and much more more. (more…)