Reindeer Games and Predators

Bizarro 12-21-14 hdrBizarro 12-21-14 WEBbz panel 12-19-14bz strip 12-19-14bz panel 12-20-14bz strip 12-20-14bz 12-20-07XmasWEB(For embiggenated views of any of these cartoons, tap it with your pointy thing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Hilarity of Horror.

Can you believe it’s Christmas week again? It’s been about a year since the last one, so yes, I can. But doesn’t it seem that the older you get, the more often Christmas comes around?  I’d like to propose that we change it from once a year to once every 75 years, to coincide with Halley’s Comet. That way plastic nativity scenes on front lawns can benefit from the more realistic “star”.
(more…)

Kooky

Bizarro 12-15-13 Hdr WEB(To enlarginatify today’s kartoon, klick on the katalytic konverter of any kar in the lot.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Hostages.

Good Sunday, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to Karl’s Klown Kars. Karl is the kind of guy whose motto is “Why use another letter where a K will do?” He has krazy kavalkade sales on his klown kars each Kristmas and serves kamomile wine koolers to his kustomers. (more…)

Internet Holiday

bz panel 12-13-13bz strip 12-13-13bz panel 12-14-13bz strip 12-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Frozen Maxi Me.

It’s been a strange two days, Jazz Pickles. I’ve not been able to post anything on FB because I used a naughty word. If you’ve not read the story, see my previous post.

In addition to what I said yesterday regarding censorship, political correctness, and the power of Facebook, I’d like to say that Facebook has become, by its ubiquitous nature, a primary means for hundreds of millions of people to communicate for personal and business reasons. When FB shut me down, my blog readership plummeted because so many of my fans are used to finding out about it from my FB posts. This power that FB has is a new, gray area. I never thought about it before, but FB’s ability to damage the business and personal lives of their membership (estimated at over a billion) gives them a dangerous and unprecedented amount of power. I’m not sure what the answer is, but it’s a problem we should be thinking about. (more…)

Spoiled Elf Pizza Quadruped Roadway

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Hangover.

I know that nobody is interested in Xmas anymore but I’ve been remiss in posting on this blog for the past week so I’m getting you caught up on what I’ve been up to in the cartoon wonderland in which I live.

If you’re like me (not a millionaire who buys cars for people on holidays) you’re likely very tired of the car commercials that encourage you to buy automobiles as gifts. If I saw a new Mercedes with a giant bow on it in the driveway of one of my neighbors on Xmas morning, I might take hostages. Or, at the very least, throw a couple of gift-wrapped bricks through the windows. (more…)

Santa Ruminant Heathen Odorless Maneuver Amputee Webcam

(To see this cartoon as big as the star over the nativity scene, click the ball on Santa’s hat.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Kidnapping.

The bizarre and convoluted imagery of modern-day Christmas has fascinated me since I was old enough to notice it. (Sometime in my teens.) I’ve since learned that there are many and various ancient myths and holidays that were incorporated into it over the centuries, including the virgin birth (the birth of heroes to virgins, often with some kind of god as the father, are common in many pre-Christian mythologies), the king born of poverty (another common mythological element and likely the reason that to this day, Americans like to vote for a “down home” candidate for president, the sort you’d want to “have a beer with”), the Christmas tree, (a pagan symbol of the winter solstice), and Santa Claus (derived from the pre-Christian, Germanic god, Odin, who flew through the skies giving gifts at Yule [Dec 25] on an eight-legged horse, later morphed into eight reindeer.) Anyway, for the past couple of Christmases, I’ve had some fun combining modern elements of the holiday with the original nativity scene of Christian mythology. Here’s last year’s, in case you’ve forgotten. (more…)

Mao Dummy Alien Cat Pee God Santa Nixon Crook

 

(To see this cartoon as big as China, click on Mao’s third button.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hover Cats.

I’ve been away for a while visiting my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was asked to deliver the commencement address at their midterm graduation and had a ball doing it. As many times as I have spoken and performed in public, I was pretty nervous. Big crowd, lots of big brains, funny outfits, a giant basketball scoreboard with a live video feed of me talking hanging over the center of the room right in front of me. To top it all off, I couldn’t see my notes so I had to mostly wing it. I guess it went okay. (more…)

Christmas Cavalcade O’Comics

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Weekend!

I won’t spend a lot of time blogging today because I’ve got holiday events to attend. Since I don’t celebrate Xmas and I’m tired of Festivus, I’ve decided this year to give tribute to Kwanzaa. Some people are all, “that’s just a made-up holiday!” Well, guess what, genius, ALL holidays are made up, by definition. Nature doesn’t have holidays, you big goober. You probably feel silly now, don’t you? Well, you should but it’s the holiday season so let’s just move past that in the spirit of forgiveness. (more…)

Evolving Diet Hand-Me-Down

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Confusion.

I keep promising myself (and you, dear Jazz Pickles) that I will post more often on this blogging machine but then I don’t get around to it. Part of the problem is that I keep looking for ways to get out of the house because I’m living alone for the first time in ten years and I get pretty blue and lonely if I don’t get out. Today I rode my bicycle 5.6 miles (according to the Google Map) to a branch of my bank to deposit a few dozen dollars worth of checks. It was mostly an excuse to get out in the sun and exercise, so an 11.2 mile ride was just the thing. (more…)