Bizarro is brought to you today by Infamous Vessel of Calming Liquid.
Here’s one of my not-so-rare cameo appearances in Bizarro, along with my amazing womanpartner (girlfriend just seems too juvenile at our age and experience,) Olive Oyl. I don’t have a Smart Car, but both she and I have tiny little Fiat 500s, hers is all electric. And neither of us have had our cars crushed by SUVs (knock on wood.) The electric Fiat is a terrific car with amazing pickup and speed and I’ll likely be switching over soon. It’s actually faster and more peppy than my gas-powered one! And you can go 100 miles on a full charge, which only costs $4. These cars are only available in California and Oregon, I guess because those are the only places with ample public charging stations to support the kind of sales they need to make it worth their investment. And California gives you a $2500 rebate for getting one. Can’t beat it.
My Superwoman cartoon came to me as I was thinking about all the hot, supermodel-types who play female superheroes in the movies and on TV. If my life was on the line, Personally, I’d prefer a beefy lesbian show up to help me out of a tough spot.
This last offering of the week is a little opaque, perhaps. When I wrote it, I had in mind the kind of family that fights a lot during large, holiday dinners, sort of like mine did before the invention of Prozac. (I’m happy to say that those days are long gone for my family and helmets are no longer needed.) Or, you could just see it as an extension of the modern safety-obsessed American family that is scared to death someone is going to get hurt, which is one of my pet peeves. Either interpretation is acceptable, as well as anything else you might be able to come up with. I’m pretty easy going in that regard.
BIZARROVERS: From the archival dungeon, I bring you this SUV cartoon from 1998. I’ve long disliked the American tradition of hyper-consumerism and have been aghast at how many American cars are larger than the average European apartment. I’m more forgiving of people who actually have a lot of stuff to haul around all the time, like if your job is in construction or gardening or something, but I know from experience that you can easily raise a family of four without driving a school bus around. The pollution and gas consumption (that is undoubtedly ruining our planet) that so many millions of SUVs and trucks cause is irresponsible in my view. Of course, the damage we’ve done to the oceans with pollution and over-fishing is going to be our species’ demise (and countless others) so it’s almost irrelevant at this point. Sad, but true.
Along those lines, I saw a terrifically interesting film on Netflix last week called “Mission Blue.” I recommend it for anyone who gives a shit about the environment. It’s not the whole story, of course, but it’s a huge part and one that doesn’t make headlines very often. If you really want to lower your carbon footprint, switch to am mostly vegan diet and drive a motorcycle, very small car, or electric car. Recycling is important, but only a spit in the ocean.