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Fruit Bomb

July 1, 2018

(To embiggenate the image below, click on the shattered dreams of the tape dispenser.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by I Need These NOW More Than Ever.

Here in this discreet corner of the universe, a couple of things have happened this week worth noting. One is that we’re trying out the new website again. We’ve still got some bugs to work out here and there but think we’ll have it solved pretty soon. Let me know if you’re experiencing weirdness, in case it’s a variety of weirdness we’re not yet aware of. I’ll get to the other new thing in a moment.

Meanwhile, today’s cartoon is about photobombing and art history. If you’re having trouble understanding it, it could be that you don’t know enough about art history to recognize the image on the laptop, or that you don’t know what a photobomb is, or that you’re just drunk. Depending on which category you think you fit into, try googling, “define photobomb,” “famous painting with apple in front of face,” or “Hw dikd i gats o drnk?” 

And now the other new thing: Back by popular demand, we’ve added the original Jazz Pickle #1 shirt to our store! (Take a moment to catch your breath.) No, you’re not dreaming, this is real. This shirt will protect you from imaginary threats of all kinds, plus make you substantially more attractive to certain types of people. Get yours now before the apocalypse ends all commerce!

 

If everyone has sobered up enough to continue, let’s take a peek at what Wayno has been scrawling on the walls of his undisclosed location this week. By the way, this week marks six months since he took over my Monday through Saturday cartoons. Big congrats, amigo!…

A dog magazine would likely have some very interesting fragranced cards in it but none that I would care to sniff. Those fragranced cards intended for humans smell enough like roadkill to me, already.

Over on Wayno’s weekly blog, he tells a cute story about his cats that served as something of an inspiration for this cartoon. URL at the end of this post.

In Scotland, bagpipes actually play a big role in dating: if you own some, you’re not going to get a date. On Wayno’s blog, he talks about the difficulty in drawing bagpipes. Even more challenging is drawing bagtubas. 

Can’t you totally see wood-fired, bacon-stuffed Pop-Tarts becoming a huge fad in America? Perhaps the Cheeto Mussolini will toss boxes of them into a crowd of imprisoned children.

Even more frightening would be if it said something that actual conversation hearts say, like “CRAZY 4U” or“SAY YES”; takes on an intimidating pallor when combined with the folklore about aliens’ fascination with anal probes.

If you’re big into counting the Secret Symbols, you may notice that this is perhaps the first time the dynamite has appeared without being lit. Wayno must have been lit when he drew it. (Another detail I just noticed: is that Alex Trebek on the parole board? “What is, Get out of here, you knucklehead and stay out of trouble?”) 

Recently, for reals, I read something about there not being any evidence that octopi and squids evolved on this planet and many scientists are now thinking they may have arrived here from elsewhere. I’ve also read they are insanely intelligent. (Octopi and squids, not scientists, who are also usually pretty intelligent.)  I’m no scientist, but the absurd way that octopi spell their plural form is evidence enough for me. 

To finish up the week, here’s an old cartoon of mine that I posted on Instagram this week for Throwback Thursday. (As I say every Thursday, no reason to throw it back, let’s just make the best of it.)

That’s the roundup for this week, Jazz Pickles. Don’t neglect to get your Bizarro enamel pins and the original Jazz Pickle #1 T-shirt available for a limited time! Do those things here.

And please continue to help us keep drawing stupid stuff by clicking some of the links below. We giggle each time you do!

Until next week, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and bigotry.

Wayno: Weekly blog…Twitter…Instagram…WaynoVision…

Piraro: Bizarro shop (enamel pins, a Hello Shitty shirt and more!)  … Bizarro tip jar …Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original cartoon art  …Bizarro Cartoons on Instagram  …Piraro Fine Art on Instagram… Piraro Twitter … Piraro coloring book

 
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Comments

  1. Tony Burns says

    July 1, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    I see 3 symbols in the sloth cartoon. Dynamite, K2 and hanging bird. To my old eyes the number by the signature is 2.

    Do I win something?

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 1, 2018 at 1:20 pm

      Good eye, Tony! You win the right to tell me what a lousy counter I am. :^}

      Reply
  2. Lois Weaver says

    July 1, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    Hola! I’d love one of your new T-shirt’s—since I live here in SMA, can I just pick one up or does it need to be shipped from the states?

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 1, 2018 at 1:19 pm

      Hola, vicino! Sadly, I don’t have any of those shirts here. The company that operates our store website prints them as they are ordered and ships them out from wherever-the-hell they are. Sorry I can’t be of more help!

      BTW: Just read the bio on your website. I used to do freelance illustration for TracyLocke and David Carter Design back in the 90s. We likely know some of the same folks. :^}

      Reply
  3. Paul Minard says

    July 1, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    Everyone knows that two- and three-toed sloths are just sorry leftovers from the Cartoonists Wars of the late 1800’s…

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 1, 2018 at 1:57 pm

      I was not aware of that but am grateful for the knowledge!

      Reply
  4. Jeff Barnes says

    July 1, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Just to clear the octopus thing up (and hope I am not being annoying):

    https://www.grammarly.com/blog/octopi-octopuses/

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 1, 2018 at 1:57 pm

      That’s actually super fascinating about the Latin/Greek confusion. Thanks for the link, Jeff!

      Reply
  5. Edward Bart says

    July 1, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    My Hello Shitty pin is the bomb. Thank you. And the others are awesome too, but people look at them and smile, the Hello Shitty gets the laughs.

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 1, 2018 at 6:15 pm

      So happy to hear it, Edward!

      Reply
  6. Tom Upshaw says

    July 1, 2018 at 2:35 pm

    Actually the word being greek, the correct plural is octopodes. Not that anyone uses it! /nitpick

    Reply
  7. Alena says

    July 1, 2018 at 2:38 pm

    I see 8 symbols in the Art History Cartoon:
    Rabbit
    K2
    Eyeball
    Dynamite
    Upside-Down Bird
    Crown
    O2
    Pie

    😉

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 2, 2018 at 10:08 am

      There are actually 7, so I did miscount. The one you’re mistaking is the crown, which doesn’t appear in that image to the best of my knowledge. I know that symbol on the laptop looks a bit like one but it isn’t. Good eye, though!

      Reply
    • Anna says

      July 8, 2018 at 10:36 am

      I don’t see the pie or the rabbit. Are you talking about the Sloth cartoon?

      Reply
  8. Mike on Bike says

    July 1, 2018 at 3:40 pm

    New website glitch: On my laptop (Chrome browser), the text is billboard-size at 100% zoom. Zooming down to 75% makes the text human-size, but the comics rather small.

    Can you tweak the website to show full size comics and human size text at the same time? Thanks.

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 1, 2018 at 6:16 pm

      I’ll report this and see if the powers that be can fix it. Thanks, Mike!

      Reply
  9. Cameron says

    July 2, 2018 at 6:54 am

    I counted 8 symbols in yesterday’s Sunday strip. Is that a crown on the computer screen above the O2? If not then I spotted 7

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 2, 2018 at 10:07 am

      That’s not a crown on the screen but you’re right about there being 7 instead of the 6 I put by my signature. This is definitely “Doh!” territory.

      Reply
      • Cameron says

        July 2, 2018 at 10:33 am

        Thank you for the confirmation. I always enjoy your strips 🙂

        Reply
  10. Bill Costa says

    July 2, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    So much to comment on…

    1) Loved the “While you were Alf” message pad gag. (Although I hope to never be
    Alf!)

    2) I went to Amazon to confirm and, yup Scotch brand clear adhesive tape still uses that green tartan plaid on their tape dispensers. (Had to look up “Slotch”, on the other hand. Now that I know what that word means, I don’t think I’ll be using it too much around the office.)

    3) Looks like you might be a Macintosh computer owner. That still tends to be the most popular choice for creative professionals, and I can tell you as a software engineer they have the best operating system. I just wish Apple would stop their relentless march to produce increasingly more non-repairable hardware. You can’t even replace the damn battery in their laptops any more.

    4) Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? To get away from the noise.

    5) As someone from Boston might say, octopuses are indeed “wicked smaht”.

    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/are-octopuses-smart/

    https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/octopus-chronicles/speedy-octopus-sets-record-for-jar-opening/

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 2, 2018 at 2:55 pm

      1)Thanks for noticing! 2)Never heard that word before, probably because people who are young enough to achieve the moniker now ignore me because of my age. 3)Yup. I love Macs but they’ve gone downhill a bit since Jobs died. Never used to ever have a problem with anything ever, not kidding. Not true anymore. 4)Love the bagpipe joke! (Although I actually like bagpipes in limited quantities) 5)I won’t eat squid or octopus because I’m convinced they are as smart or smarter than chimps.

      Reply
  11. Merle the Perle says

    July 6, 2018 at 7:18 pm

    Hey lucky mail day today. Got my Jazz birthing a pickle tee. Didn’t even know it’d have so many other Bizaro icons. Got the beefy men’s so it’s a comfy lounge tee for moi. Now if I can just get our big furry all white Husky Eddie the Yeti to stop shedding, I can get it to stay black so the ART shines. Love it!!

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      July 7, 2018 at 9:40 am

      Happy to hear it, MtP! Thanks for your support an may it give you many years of coverage!

      Reply
  12. Tim Boettcher says

    October 6, 2018 at 10:18 pm

    I had a big problem finding the new website. The reason is that I used to use http://www.bizarro.com to access your site. Now when I do I get the message:
    This page isn’t working
    http://www.bizarro.com redirected you too many times.

    However. using bizarro.com (without the www) works just fine.

    I suspect there are a number of people who also are having this problem (or perhaps I’m just a big idiot). I’m sue your IT guy can tell you what needs to be done to fix this.

    Reply
    • Dan Piraro says

      October 7, 2018 at 9:44 am

      Thanks for those details, Tim. I’ve had a few people say they were having trouble but had no idea why until now. I’ll pass this along to the IT folks and see if they can remedy it.

      Reply

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