(To begin the embiggenation process, click any graffiti containing a vowel.)
Bizarro is brought to you today by Russian Exchange Program.
In the art world, there’s an ongoing debate about whether “tagging” is art or vandalism. To be clear, tagging is not graffiti or mural painting, it is simply signing your name with paint. For me, if hypothetically applied to any other art form, the question becomes more clear.
If somebody was standing on the corner of your street blowing two notes badly on a saxophone for days on end, would you call it music? If a person put their name on the front of a book but all of the pages were blank, would you call it a novel? If someone stood on a street corner doing nothing other than taking bows and nodding at passers-by, would you call them an actor?
If someone is over fifty and writes the above paragraph on his blog, would you call him a cranky old bastard? Possibly, and you might be right.
If you’re like me, you may be wondering what the hell my partner, Wayno did this week in that cave full of art supplies that I keep him confined in. Let’s find out…
Whenever I see this dude, I smear his face liberally with cream cheese. Yes, I’m a tough guy, especially when it comes to dealing with breakfast food. Don’t even get me started about how I great donuts.
By the way, if you like the shirt this dough-head is wearing, you can add similar ones to your own enviable wardrobe by clicking here. (Sadly, we do not yet offer the Pie Beer cozy.)
If you’re a fan of great animation and you’ve not seen Disney’s 1940 Pinocchio, you should. It is truly a marvel, especially when you consider that computers were decades away from being invented and every molecule of it was drawn by hand. Of course, you have to ignore the fact that the plot vilifies a peaceful, endangered species as a bloodthirsty monster (Monstro the whale) but it was created at a time when humans still felt they were divinely ordained by a god who put the earth and all it’s other creatures here for us to abuse and destroy however we saw fit, like the spoiled children of a mindless billionaire. Other than that, it really is an awesome movie.
I’m embarrassed to admit that one of my tattoos refers to a long-gone, perfectly awful relationship partner. If only getting rid of her had been as easy and painless as amputating my arm was. If someone is looking for an excellent business opportunity, might I suggest Laser Spouse Removal?
This little piggie’s dad has a man-bun, this little piggie’s has none.
This little piggie’s mother objects to people calling her baby a piggie, this little piggie wonders why it isn’t spelled “piggy”.
And this little piggie doesn’t know if he’s at the market or going wee, wee, wee all the way home because his upturned snout is buried in his cell phone 24/7.
Over on the other side of the Internet, Wayno’s weekly blog has some interesting and amusing comments about where this week’s jokes came from and almost went. He also features a really weird playlist of some of his favorite strange songs from years gone by. (Some might say the playlist was “curated,” but Wayno would not be among them.) Check it out, because you’re going to dig it, daddio. (Link at end of this post.)
He’s wearing a bike helmet because his dress keeps getting caught in the chain and he falls down a lot. The pizza he is delivering is the Triple Meat Extra Bacon Reaper Special with cheese-stuffed crust. Ask for it by name and serve the leftovers at your funeral.
Most dog dogma is derived from the fact that “dog” spelled backward is “god”. Seems like a silly thing to build a religion around until you realize human religions are typically based on even fewer facts than that. As Tiny Tim might have said, “Dog bless us, every one.”
That’s the straight poop for this week, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for following the carnival wagon this far. If you like what we’re doing, please visit some of the links below and consider making a donation or buying a thing. As newspapers diminish, folks like us turn to alternative methods to keep the cartoon comedy canoe afloat!
Wayno: WEEKLY BLOG…Twitter…Instagram…WaynoVision…
Piraro: BIZARRO SHOP (enamel pins, a Hello Shitty shirt and more!) … Bizarro tip jar …Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original cartoon art …Bizarro Cartoons on Instagram …Piraro Fine Art on Instagram… Piraro Twitter … Piraro coloring book
T-shirt idea
I BELIEVE IN GOD
Spelled Backwards ( much smaller font)
I see you fill in for cartoonists in Newsday. Can’t believe they won’t give you your own space. When will they come to their senses. Some day ,I hope. Keep up the good work, wish you all the best.
Gag idea- Two kids sitting in a kitchen. One kid is eating animal crackers.
He offers one to the other kid. He says-” No thanks ,I’m a vegetarian.”
Hope you like it, Tim.
Thanks for the gag idea and the nice words, Tim. Not sure what you mean about the Newsday situation. Which Newsday would that be and how often are they using Bizarro cartoons? I don’t control that kind of stuff so it often happens without my knowledge.
New York Newsday. Whenever another cartoon is on vacation. Right now you’re filling in for Non Seguitur. It’s happened often, I’m surprised you are not aware of it. I hope I have not opened up a can of worms. Anyway, thanks for getting back to me.
all the best to you and yours, Tim.
It’s probably totally legal, it’s just that I don’t handle the sales of my cartoons; that’s what King Features does. I don’t follow the ups and downs of my client list, I just complain if my monthly check doesn’t arrive. :^}
I get my Bizaro from my local daily physical newspaper that gets thrown on my porch (or under it, or beside it, or maybe someday on the roof). Up to now I have been depending upon the website for the brilliant commentary and the chance to see the artwork in its full hi-rez glory. This last Sunday’s panel is an excellent example of “it’s way better on the web than in the newspaper”. The beautiful artwork of the panel is also an important part of the gag itself, given the subject.
But lately getting my daily paper has become a bit spotty. Some days it just doesn’t appear. It use to be that you could ask for a missed issue to be delivered the next day, but that’s no longer the case. The best you can hope for is a credit on your subscription which I ask for but have no idea if I am actually getting given the automatic payment plan. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that having reliable to-your-home paper delivery is going to become an endangered species. Given the currently low unemployment rate, who wants the crappy job of delivering newspapers at oh dark thirty in the morning every freak’n day no matter the weather? I think the time has probably already arrived that the best way to get my daily comic fix is by personally creating a curated list of the comics I want to see via the web, rather than let some editor decide what I should be seeing. But of course that means managing a bunch of individual donations to my favorite cartoonists. Gasp, would that make me a patron of the arts?
It’s a changing industry, for sure. Trump recently added heavy tariffs on newsprint to further damage newspapers, probably because most of them report his crimes and idiocies too honestly for his taste. Guys like me are shit out of luck. (Which is why I have a store now.)
If I were a professional cartoonist, I’d stick with amusing my loyal readers & skip the political commentary.
Perhaps this is one of many reasons you are not a professional humorist.
It’s a changing industry, for sure. Trump recently added heavy tariffs on newsprint to further damage newspapers, probably because most of them report his crimes and idiocies too honestly for his taste. Guys like me are shit out of luck. (Which is why I have a store now.)
Did you get your inspiration for Sunday’s panel from Bob Monkhouse, who said, “When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they’re not laughing now …”?
Can’t say I’ve heard of Monkhouse but that concept has been used in many ways over the years to various amusing ends. :^}