Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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No Exit

Lots of folks are wondering about this one but that’s okay. It’s good for your brain to try to figure things out. So-called “cat people” are more likely to understand it because they know that cats often have trouble figuring out how doors work; how to push through one that is open but not quite enough to squeeze through, which side to go through once you’ve opened one for them, how to pop out the hinge pins, remove one, and fashion it into a quirky coffee table. About the only thing cats can manage about doors without much trouble is perching atop them.

Music fans are likely having trouble because they are running lyrics and song titles by The Doors through their heads trying to find a connection to cats. There is one, but it wasn’t a hit—it was a weird intro to “Break On Through to the Other Side” that The Doors often played live and which began, “Dead cats, dead rats,” etc. So any way you look at it, The Doors and doors are difficult topics for cats.

So, yes, this one is a little opaque but next week’s Sunday cartoon is probably even moreso. I was in a strange mood a few weeks back when I was doing these two. Or maybe I’m just in a strange place in my life in general. That’s probably even more likely.

What strange references will we find in my partner’s cartoons this week? Let’s trickle down the page and find out what Wayno was up to…

My biggest fear is that newspapers will become extinct before silverfish evolve the ability to eat the Internet. A double tragedy.

I asked Wayno to draw the scene when the customer returns but he said it was too inconvenient.

On his own weekly blog discussion of this batch of comics, he relates the dream from which this cartoon came. Have a look at Wayno’s post after you’re finished here, why don’t you?

If you go to a doctor like this one, don’t let him remove your funny bone. You can live without humor but it will make you unbearable. (See Donald Trump, Dick Cheney)

The thing I hate most about living downstairs from zombies is the sound of them shuffling slowly across the floor all night.

I think the only one likely to be interested in the “treasures” they unearth will be the dog.

Quick note about treasures: All of our Bizarro Secret Symbols pins and the infamously popular, Hello Shitty pin occasionally return from the manufacturing process with a tiny imperfection that only an experienced jeweler with a microscope could spot. BUT, since we pride ourselves on the pursuit of perfection, we knock the prices down for our preferred Jazz Pickles like you. Shop now for the perfect imperfection for you! (Don't forget a few for holiday gifts.)

Have you ever actually asked a stranger to be quiet in public? I’ve done it once. I was in a cranky mood one day and was standing in line at a cafe counter in front of a rich guy in a fancy suit with an expensive briefcase. He was having a boisterous conversation about his investments and business interests. I found his lack of awareness of those around him so irritating that I turned around and told him in a reasonable voice to “please stop shouting”. He looked at me with alarm in his eyes and said, “What?!” I said, a little louder than is polite, as though he were hard of hearing, “You’re shouting! I’m asking you to stop.” He did. A couple of people in the cafe clapped a couple times. It was very gratifying.

Less gratifying is that another one of my goddamn birthdays is due to arrive this coming week. I’ve not been a fan of my birthdays since I was 21 and in spite of my efforts to put a stop to them, they just keep coming. I’m told that someday that will stop happening fairly abruptly, however, so I should find something to enjoy about them while I still can. I’ll give it another try, I guess.

That marks the end of our trail of comedy bread crumbs this week, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for following us into the forest. If you enjoy what we do and that we do it without a paywall or ads, or if you’d like to toss me a few more crumbs for my trail in honor of my (goddamn) birthday, please visit the links below! We’ll teach the rooster at Rancho Bizarro to crow your name at dawn.

Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance, fascism, and nationalism.

BIZARRO SHOP (enamel pins, Hello Shitty, shirts and more!)  

… Bizarro TIP JAR

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