Dials in the Sun
Bizarro is brought to you today by Chatting on the Beach.
A recent study found that, thanks to The Flintstones, approximately one third of Americans believe that the early versions of household appliances were powered by small animals. The study also found that while most people are skeptical that an automobile could be built out of stone and logs, they also believe that if you somehow managed to do it, you would be able to propel and stop it with your feet.
When asked if they thought that prehistoric people realized they were being watched by latter-20th-century humans, 27% answered “no,” 16% answered “probably”, 42 % were too busy with their smartphones to answer, and 11% asked where they could get a purple dinosaur to keep as a pet. (Above percentages may not add up to 100 because math isn’t really my thing.)
After analyzing the results, 94% of researchers came to believe that many Americans today aren’t much smarter than the small birds, mammals, and reptiles that powered prehistoric household appliances.
My cartoon today is not about any of that but is instead about the very early days of surrealism. Since pocket watches had yet to be invented, early surrealists painted melting sundials. (Special thanks to my good friend, Cliff The King Of Wordplay for collaborating on this gag with me!)
To discover what Wayno was melting in his cartoon oven last week, scroll on…
I think of parking meters as modern-day highway robbers; call them curbside robbers. Maybe there are cities where they are not a problem but in Los Angeles, where I spent five years sitting in traffic, the rules are strict and arcane and a violation can cost a small fortune. Around ten years ago, while visiting L.A., I met a guy who had made a tool of a certain shape that when inserted into the coin slot, would trigger the meter to register time. I begged him to sell me one but he wasn’t manufacturing them. I’ve no idea if he was able to invent something that would work with the modern, digital meters—assuming he’s not in jail serving a much stiffer sentence than Paul Manafort got for ripping off countless entities for millions, that is.
I predict that within a short time after Trump’s death (assuming he is mortal) people in Hell will devise a new religion based on him and Satan will be out of a job. Or, maybe I’m thinking about this backward; perhaps the Cheeto Mussolini is simply Satan with weird bangs hiding his horns, having a little extra-curricular fun up on the surface.
After moving to Mexico, which can be a fairly chaotic and noisy environment around the clock, I found that my mind got tired of tracking and identifying noises and just began ignoring everything. I actually sleep better now because of random noise than I did in a “quiet” neighborhood back in the U.S.
On the bright side, he likely won’t “phub” you routinely like most of the other folks on that site will.
Fun backstory: this is actually the grown-up version of that baby panda that sneezed and scared the bamboo out of its mom in that famous YouTube video. These days, he’s using a ukelele to startle folks.
I’m glad Wayno included “authentic” on the sign. What’s worse than a phony Euro hand pie? Am I right?
Don’t forget to drop by Wayno’s weekly blog post to see what he has to say about these cartoons. He always includes some interesting extras and a link to some fun, oddball recorded music from the past!
Thanks to all you Jazz Pickles who strolled along with us down Cartoon Lane today. We give our cartoons away for free online and as newspapers continue to struggle financially, so do we. If you like what we do, please consider availing yourself of one or more of the links below, which help us to keep our wells filled with ink.
Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and fascism.
BIZARRO SHOP (enamel pins, Hello Shitty, shirts and more!)
DIEGO PIRARO FINE ART…where you can buy my paintings or prints of them from me personally!
…Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels
…Bizarro Cartoons on Instagram