Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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Ships 'n' Lips

Bizarro is brought to you today by Finger Sandwich.

Some would see this cartoon as a perfect example of how too many regulations can serve to tie the hands of law enforcement. These two detectives, for instance, don’t stand a chance of getting a single syllable out of this suspect unless one of them puts his hand up the little creep’s backside. But in 37 of 50 U.S. states, inserting an object into any orifice of a detainee is strictly prohibited. You can imagine their frustration at being cops in one of those over-regulated states.

Your comments regarding this hot political topic are welcome, as always. If you’ve failed to detect the satire and sarcasm in the above paragraph and wish to say something foolish, they are especially welcome.

If you’re finding yourself now wondering what fooling things Wayno did with his cartoon jester kit last week, follow me a few pixels down…

I’m thinking, “what job would be more pointless than the Itsy Bitsy Spider’s daily routine?” Oh. Writing the daily presidential security briefings.

My fave thing to say about this cartoon all week has been “their podcasts always make me spew,” but now I’m getting really tired of it and wish I’d never put it out there. Thanks, mercilessly unforgiving Internet.

So now my fave thing is I’m trying to figure out how big those whales are and then calculate how large their headphones would be. Ya think each ear muff thingy is about the size of a hot tub?

Do you think the Loon of ‘Toons was circling Wayno’s house when he wrote this one? Is that pun enough to elicit a Goldfinch of Groan? Okay. Ibis stop now.

“Except that your future will be ruined by the hellscape my generation will have created by denying we were ruining the planet.” #Oops #GreedyDaddy

I was in a band in high school with a guy who called himself a “tail fairy” but I think it was a whole other thing.

Over on Wayno’s weekly cartoon blog post, he has something cute and clever to say about this one that I wish I’d thought of.

Don’t be so down on yourself, dude. You could always kill your lawyer.*

*I am in no way advocating violence against people other than lawyers.**

**I am in no way advocating violence against lawyers. This is a humor blog. C’mon.

That empties the piñata for this week, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for swinging a stick with us. If you like what we do and that we do it WITHOUT ugly ads, please consider dropping a morsel into one of the links below. It really helps keep the bunny fed at Rancho Bizarro.

Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and fascism.

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