Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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Time Flying

For four grueling years, being an American has been like being related to Charlie Sheen—one embarrassment-by-proximity after another. 

Throughout my 35-year career as a cartoonist, which includes those of the ongoing dumpster fire of the Trump administration, I’ve occasionally used my cartoons and my blog to express political opinions. Whenever I do, the same thing always happens; most readers appreciate it and a few tell me they wish I’d stay away from politics. I get that. I hate politics, too.

Accordingly, some of you regular readers may have noticed that in my post last week—just days before indisputably the most important election of any of our lives—I made no mention of politics or the foundations of the apocalypse that the GOP has laid. It was not because I didn’t have thoughts on the matter, it was simply because I was anxious, you were anxious, almost anyone without a profound, decades-long, daily meditation practice was anxious, so I figured we could all use a little humor sans politics. I knew I could.

But this week, now that the dragon’s flaming breath has been reduced to a tea light, I join the rest of the educated world in a collective, audible sigh of relief for the bullet we just dodged. I also close my eyes for a moment out of respect for the bullet we all took by having to stand by for four years and watch one childish tweet tantrum after another announce the dismantling of our democracy.

When it was announced yesterday that the witch had finally been doused with water and was melting into a harmless puddle, I surprised myself by sobbing. It was a visceral expression of relief; the knowledge that the bullet we dodged was four more years of the systematic destruction of anything that does not personally benefit the Narcissist in Chief, and could very likely have rendered many of our biggest problems unsolvable. 

Which brings us to climate change. It was already too late to make significant strides against climate change when the GOP locked the door four years ago and refused to admit that the roof was on fire. Now it is even more too late. But at least grownups are in charge again and we can point our ship of fools away from the waterfall we’ve been paddling towards and start feverishly paddling in the opposite direction. I’m praying for mercy but at this point, I suspect we’d all be wise to check under our seats for a life jacket.

But for now, we get a reprieve from the madness, or we will soon, one way or another. But even after the White House has been cleared of the swarm of upward-failing sycophants and grifters in its woodwork, not just a mountain but a Continental Divide of problems will remain to be chipped away at and Americans will feel the hurt for a long time. I think much of it won’t be fun but there is real opportunity for positive change. 

In summary, in spite of record and brazen levels of voter suppression by Republicans, the person whom a majority of Americans want as president was actually awarded the office. That doesn’t happen as often as it should in our so-called democracy, so it is cause for celebration!

In lieu of champagne, let’s celebrate with some Bizarro cartoons from Wayno, whose home state (Pennsylvania!) made a HUGE difference in the history of the world this week!

As most voters in the U.S. know from personal experience, good grass is worth it.

Because nothing says torture, death, and resurrection like chocolate rodents.

If you want a crash course in amateur puns, check out the comments below this one on our Instagram account.

A person can get mighty tired of walking when their shoes are that sticky.

You won’t get any sympathy from those idiots, rat-boy.

I jest. I was a member of the NCS for years, Wayno still is, and almost none of them are idiots. As for the World Lemming Council, Wayno reveals the results of his investigation into this organization in his weekly cartoon blog post about this same batch. Go have a look-see.

I confess that the first time I read this one, I thought it said “manscape”. I was pleased when I realized my error

  • I can’t let this post expire without mentioning that my graphic novel, Peyote Cowboy, is heating up nicely and if you’re at all a fan of the art, I’m excited for you to see the next episode.. It’s entitled “Fwump!” and I’ll post it next Tuesday, midday. If you want an email whenever I post a new episode, get on this email list. It’s different from the Bizarro email list. Below is a detail from a really luscious wide shot that you’re going to love. To catch up on the entire story, here’s the episodes page.

That marks the end of our comedy crash test, Jazz Dummies. Thanks for riding all the way to the wall with us. (Have I used this metaphor for my end salutation before?) Anyway, if you appreciate our work and want to help us keep doing it as the newspaper industry continues to shrink, please consider supporting us through one of the links below.

Until next time, be grateful, be kind to somebody, enjoy the moment now and then.

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