Sit On It
If you’re one of the millions of Americans with a chair stuck to your butt, the good news is that now there’s help. In fact, no matter your personal tragedy, there’s a very good chance there’s a support group for it, where you can share your experiences with other folks in a similar situation.
I don’t mean to sound critical or flip; I’m a huge fan of support groups. I’ve used them many times in my life for a few different reasons and I’m about to look for one with a new theme for me: people who don’t take the rules of food safety seriously. I’m looking for a group like this because I’ve just lost two days of my life feeling like I was being repeatedly thrown off the back of a fast-moving truck.
Our tragedy begins on Friday night when the spectacular Olive Oyl made a delicious stir fry dinner for us. I thought it tasted terrific but, never one to leave good enough alone, I decided it might taste better with some sriracha sauce. I found some in the fridge, we both wondered aloud if it was still good and then opened and sniffed it.
“Seems a little vinegary,” said O2.
“It always smells vinegary, doesn’t it?” said the soon-to-be-victim of an alarmingly rapid and unpleasant shedding of bodily liquids. And I then went on to say, “Oh well, we’ll know if it was bad by morning.”
Yes, I actually and literally said that and O2 was a witness. As I recall, we both chuckled at this remark. By 2:30 am, I was cursing myself. By 8 am, I was googling symptoms of COVID because we’ve all heard it doesn’t act the same way in everyone. Convinced it was not the beer virus, I knew I just had to hang on for the ride.
Typing this blog post is the most energetic thing I’ve been able to do in almost two days. It reminded me of how easy it is to take your health for granted, and how much I really, truly, desperately hate being sick, even for only a day or two, and how much it must royally suck to have a long term illness or be down with flu-like symptoms for a couple of weeks. My heart goes out to anyone suffering that kind of ongoing assault. Nobody deserves that. (Well, some do, but no one reading this.)
The moral of this post is that while we’re being so careful not to touch our faces or breathe the same air as others or leave the house without a mask, there are likely several serious health dangers lurking in your fridge. Always remember these two sayings––“When in doubt, throw it out,” and “throw it out or throw it up.”
Now it’s time to sniff Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons from last week to see if any are past their expiry date…
I started the Secret Symbols thing back in the mid-90s and thought I’d done every variation possible, but Wayno continues to find new and fun ways to slip them in. I got a kick out of the least obvious of the three in this panel.
And during our Halloween sale, we’ll fill the mattress with the dirt of your homeland at no extra charge.
Anybody know where I can get a “Caution: Wet Ceiling” sign for my studio?
Hey, I want to share some art from my upcoming graphic novel. It’s going to go live online in a few weeks. I’ll keep you posted!
Over on Wayno’s weekly cartoon blog post, he mentions a fairly amusing comment he got from a plumber about this cartoon. For my part, I got a couple of questions from readers who didn’t get this joke. It’s all about the homonym, baby.
When this gag was submitted, the quarantine wasn’t yet in full swing. We now realize it looks like that’s what the cartoon is about but it was only coincidence. In our business, this kind of intersection between random humor attempts and current events is actually fairly common.
Thus concludes this week’s cartoon support group meeting, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for sharing your laughter, tears, coffee and donuts. If you like what we do and that we don’t charge you for it or make you ignore ads, please consider visiting our links below. We’re still donating 50% of profits from our shop to a charity that supports local small restaurants and frontline healthcare workers during the pandemic. This is a good time to grab some Bizarro swag while being of use to folks who need it.
Until next time, be smart, be happy, be nice, and resist the Dunning-Kruger Party.
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