Meowchoo!
As I sit down to write this post today, I realize I am only just now aware that today is a holiday in the U.S. Having lived full-time in Mexico for a few years, it’s easy to forget the 4th of July; there’s no talk of it, no garish decorations, no backyard BBQ we’ve been invited to.
American ex-pats do celebrate here, occasionally. It’s easy to have a few friends over for a cookout, then later, because it’s Mexico and they find a reason to shoot off fireworks two or three times each week pretty much year-round, there’s a fair chance there will be some tonight and you could easily imagine you’re back in the states.
I like backyard parties okay but I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of July 4th. Like most educated liberals, I don’t have a lot of blind patriotism. I’ve never been one to think that my country (my school, my town, my state) is better than all the others purely for my having incidentally been a part of it. Sure, we all invent tons of reasons why our (institution) actually is better than the others, but the truth is it’s mostly just because it happens to be ours and we want to believe we’re part of something special. (You are, but it isn’t about where you happen to be.)
Does this mean liberals hate America? The truth is that the U.S. has some very good things about it and also some very horrendous things—like world-class horrendous—and the kind of people who are politically liberal tend to be the sort who see and consider both sides of things. Conservatives are much more prone to black and white thinking.
I think Al Franken summed it up brilliantly: “... they (conservatives) love America the way a 4-year-old loves her mommy. Liberals love America as grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad, and helping your loved one grow.”
So when it comes to patriotism, I can’t get all misty-eyed over the stars and stripes; America is a very mixed bag. I tend to think of the world and all of its animals, minerals, and vegetables as a community and that all of us are in this beautiful and dangerous thing together, whatever the hell it is we’re doing on this planet. Creating teams and pitting logos against each other is fine for sports but in real life, it’s a dangerous and selfish game.
Damn. I got a bit off my intended track there. In case you forgot amidst all of that bloviating pontificating, this is a humor blog! If you don’t already hate me for criticizing Mommy, let’s get real damn humorous, real fast.
Nostrildamus! Many people disrespect puns and wordplay but in my opinion, if done properly, they can be funny. Millions of people enjoy puns so we here at Bizarro Industries stick by them. But not without caveat. After more than three decades of writing gags, we’ve discovered that the secret to good puns is surprise. If the reader thinks they could have come up with the pun themself, they’ll groan, but if it truly surprises them, they chuckle. And so we always aim to surprise.
And now let’s see what word shenanigans my able accomplice has for us in this week’s Bizarro cartoons…
Quick survival tip: if you are about to be thrown into a body of water with piranhas, cover your body in something that piranhas don’t find appetizing. Maybe Brussels sprouts or raw kale.
According to Wayno’s blog post this week, a reader pointed out that there is a grievous error in one of the costumes above. We are truly sorry for this thoughtless oversight and sincerely hope that no one was offended, confused, or negatively triggered in any way. We have nothing but respect and admiration for America’s super heroes and meant no disrespect.
What I like about Bunny’s Gym is that you can get your pie repaired while you work out.
This sounds harmless but imagine trying to run on that many Tic Tacs.
This is one of my favorite jokes ever, and not just because it is perhaps the filthiest gag we’ve ever used in Bizarro.
If nothing else, I have to commend this guy on his taste in art.
That signals the end of our humor charade for this week, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for pretending you thought everything was funny. If you like our vibe, daddio, and that we do all of this for free and without ads, please consider tossing a coin our way via the links below. We’ll thank you personally in our hearts and minds.
Until next week, be conscious of your consciousness until it trips you out, man.
BIZARRO SHOP We have new stuff in the shop that’s fun and cheap!
…Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels