Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

View Original

Bitter Truth

Hello, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to Oyl’s Tattoos. How much do you love the logo on that T-shirt? It’s my favorite thing about this one.

As my regular readers know, I call my beloved wife “Olive Oyl,” which was the name of Popeye’s girlfriend. I do this for two reasons: 

  1. Like Ms. Oyl, she is a head taller than I and quite thin

  2. Like Mr. Eye, I become violent when I eat spinach. I don’t rescue anyone or right any wrongs, I just really dislike spinach.

And most other greens, too if you must know. I find most greens to be very bitter and have been criticized my entire adult life for my unsophisticated palate. (It’s okay, I’m over it.) You may join in this ridicule if you like, I don’t really care. (see?) Just don’t make me eat greens. 

But before you decide to go full-on school bully and push me into the mud because I can’t tolerate those delicious, you-don’t-know-what-you’re-missing collard greens your Great Aunt Erma June made for you during your childhood in Louisiana, read this article.

Since no one has time to read long science articles anymore, I’ll summarize: 

…people who think greens are bitter are much less vulnerable to Covid. And ANY OTHER PATHOGEN, as it turns out! 

There’s even a (very appropriate) name for us, which is “supertasters.” (Insert any heroic movie theme here.)

They call us that because we have a double T2R38 gene which makes us very sensitive to bitter tastes. People with one copy of that gene are not very sensitive to bitterness and are called “tasters,” while those who don’t have the gene and can’t really taste bitterness well at all and are called “nontasters.” (Sorry for the uncool name.) And the real super power behind we supertasters is that those genes do several things to deter bioinvasions, including creating something in our mucous called nitric oxide, which kills pathogens. 

Of course, we supertasters can be difficult to cook for because we tend to be pickier eaters. Go ahead, accuse me of having been spoiled as a child. I don’t care. I’m over it. (And you’d be wrong! I was not spoiled!

The scientific truth is (excuse my foul language, Trump supporters) we aren’t trying to be difficult, we don’t like certain foods because we can taste something that you cannot. It’s as simple as that. To us, the raw broccoli on your appetizer tray may as well be old socks found in the street. No amount of Ranch dressing is going to disguise that discarded-laundry tang and it is as appetizing to us as our nitric-oxide-soaked mucous is to you. Yech.

I didn’t intend to bring this up when I sat down to write today, but now that it’s happened, I just hope that this frank discussion can lead to better understanding between the various tasters, and a more peaceful world as a result. 

Returning to the tattoo shop above, there are lots of fun images in the background of this cartoon and I encourage you to take a moment to peruse them. You may even find one from Peyote Cowboy.

The wall of tattoo design samples gave me ample opportunity to cram in Secret Symbols and, according to the small number over my signature, there are a whopping 17! Enjoy!

(I hope I counted correctly but if I did not, remember that if I’d been better at math I might’ve ended up with a real job instead of cartooning and you wouldn’t be reading this now. Or you would be reading it but it would be about actuarial tables as they impact flood insurance.)

Someone: Dan, are you saying that math makes everything more boring?”

Me: Hell no! Ask me about the Mandelbrot Set sometime. Mind blowing!

If you’re still here after all that, we now reward you with a dive into the refreshing pool of Bizarro cartoons that Wayno created for us this week…

No, these two aliens do not count as Secret Symbols. There’s an interesting name for that weird bottle shape, though, which Wayno divulges in his blog post this week.

I would love to have a suit of clothing made that somehow looks as though I’m falling at top speed.

If I were a monk of this sort, I would not want a suit of clothing like the one I mentioned above.

I love my dogs but I get tired of them following me around in the kitchen in hopes I’ll drop some food. When is someone going to invent a Sesame Street for dogs that you can just plop them down in front of and they’ll stay?

If only a certain ex-president had understood how well lime green hair goes with an orange face.

That wraps up our pool party for the week, Jazz Pickles. Wayno has some interesting extras in his blog post this week, including a nostalgic visit to the Firesign Theater, so don’t miss it.

If you’ve enjoyed splashing around with us and that we don’t have obnoxious click bait or ads on this site, please consider helping us keep it that way via one of the links below. We’ll think of you fondly.

Until next week, does anyone actually even read this last line before the links?

BIZARRO SHOP Fun and cheap!

… Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!

Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels  

PEYOTE COWBOY WEBSITE

SUPPORT Peyote Cowboy

PeyoteCowboy on Facebook

Peyote Cowboy Instagram

DIEGO PIRARO FINE ART

Bizarro Cartoons on Instagram 

King Features Subscription + archive access