Spudmouth
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno. You can see Wayno’s weekly blog post here and I highly recommend it.
Here’s the ANSWER KEY to this week’s Sunday comic, above.
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Saludos, Jazz Pickles. I hope you’ve had a good week. Mine included celebrating my birthday. Thus far, I’ve been having a birthday once a year but I think I may do it less frequently. It seems to be making me older a little faster than I’d prefer.
For some birthday fun, my wonderful wife (who goes by Olive Oyl in my blog posts) dug out my old photo album from a backpacking trip I took in Europe in 1979 when I was not quite twenty-one. She found the following photo of me in Sicily and said she thought I looked really sexy in it. I had forgotten all about this picture but upon viewing it again, I couldn’t deny her assessment.
It was fun to see it again but I wasn’t happy about what seemed to be too much surprise in her voice at how attractive I was way back then. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. When she and I met, I was already in my middle fifties and now, in my middle sixties, the contrast between my current reality and the Brando-wannabe in the photo is quite pronounced.
That’s natural, of course, and I don’t lament it any more than the average person who notices their face is gradually melting off their skull. And as if that weren’t enough, I also seem to have lost all sense of style, as the recent photo below attests.
This was taken on one of our morning dog walks so that’s my defense for the style choices. Still, I think a good title for this before/after photo sequence would be, “Don’t Let This Happen to You.” And yet, it happens to us all if we live long enough so the warning is pointless.
This brings me to my next topic, helping my buddy, Dave, live a little longer. Dave is a professional saxophonist, assemblage artist, husband, father, doggy daddy, and an all-around great guy. He’s my age and suffers from a rare disease that has ruined his kidneys. He has End Stage Renal Disease and is told that people in his condition can only expect to live a few more years unless they get a transplant. He’s on the list, but the wait is 8 to 10 years. The photo below is of how he spends three days each week.
So, pretty much his last recourse is to try to find someone with type O blood (pos or neg) who is willing to donate a kidney to him. I know it’s a BIG ask and you probably don’t even know Dave, but I figure it can’t hurt to toss it out there. Got an extra kidney, the right type of blood, and a burning desire to bank some damn good karma?
If you should be interested, let me know via a comment to this post and I’ll personally give you Dave’s contact info. I moderate comments before they get posted so no one will see your message but me. (Include your email)
And now let’s forget our woes for a few moments and have a chuckle or six with Wayno’s week of Bizarro cartoons…
He was a good white shark, not a great white shark.
Parallel parking it can be a real bitch, though.
No matter how long I live, I doubt I will ever understand French sports.
But is it gluten-free, non-GMO, and vegan?
That’s the model that has the garlic press and the tea infuser.
And so ends this performance of Comedy Delusions Theater. Thanks for sticking around until we’d swept the popcorn from beneath the seats. If you like what we do and that we do it without ads and clickbait, please consider helping us keep it that way via one of the links below. We’ll like you even more than we already do, as if that were even possible.
Until next time, happy birthday to everyone.
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