Supporting Roles
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno whose weekly blog post can be seen here. I highly recommend it.
Here’s the ANSWER KEY to this week’s Sunday comic, above.
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Vítejte, Jazz Pickles. That’s “welcome” in Czech, according to Google. Google it if you don’t believe me.
I got my first pet when I was five years old and I’ve had them pretty much ever since. When I was five, we got a terrier mutt that we somehow named “Penny.” My folks allowed Penny to give birth once to demonstrate to my older sister and me something they hoped not to have to explain in plain English. Penny had a single, huge puppy. My parents said they’d never heard of such a thing. My parents were right about it teaching me something. I watched the birth and learned that you can give birth to something a third your size and survive.
As a young adult, I had a lab/shepherd mix called “Frank.” Personality-wise, he is maybe my favorite of all the dogs I’ve lived with. Always even-tempered, upbeat, and affectionate. And loyal! He would lie to the police for you if you needed him to. When he became blind in his old age, he’d walk close to my heel and put his nose in my hand. We walked all over that way and he trusted me completely.
I was on a low-dose, psychedelic trip recently, feeling all warm and fuzzy about how everything in the universe is connected and perfect—you know the routine—and it occurred to me that maybe the best thing about pets is that they allow us to love another being unconditionally. It’s the way we should treat everyone in the world but our egos make it damn near impossible to pull off. But we can do it with our animal companions, even when they’ve chewed up something we loved or shared their bodily fluids in an unapproved location, and it makes us feel wonderful. Sure, having no pets can give you more lifestyle freedom but I love the companionship of beasts and happily give up a little freedom for it.
And all of that’s not even to mention how much belly laughter I get from their stupidity. Here’s a recent shot of our Lucy in the midst of some freeform napping.
And, of course, always adopt a cat or dog from a shelter, and never buy one from a shop or breeder. They are family members, not fashion accessories.
Now it’s time to check out Wayno’s freeform cartoon stylings with this week’s Bizarro cartoons…
Dogs can detect a person’s blood type just by smelling their crotch, but they don’t know what to do with that information.
When I was a kid, I thought Adam and Eve had one son named Cain Enable.
It is always now and you are always here. Why would you need a map?
This is from a time when having ill-behaved children was more lucrative.
If he was a serious contender, it would be covered with bees.
I hate to tell you, pal, but you need a whole new gourd. This one’s got maybe two days to live.
That wraps up our cartoon to-go order, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for sticking around until we handed the bag to the delivery driver. If you’re enjoying our work and that we provide it free of charge, without pop-up ads or clickbait, please consider helping us keep it that way via one of the links below. We’d be much obliged.
Until next week, give your pet a big wet kiss from me.
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