Hidden Meanings
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno. He does a weekly blog post, too, and I highly recommend it.
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There is currently a documentary series on HBO Max called, The Way Down, which chronicles the religious (cult?) leader, Gwen Shamblin Lara. She founded and became wealthy from a large, evangelical church in Tennessee with a strange emphasis on weight loss. It’s a good series if you’re into the anthropological study of how so many seemingly normal people can fall for an obvious charlatan, but all that aside, you have to see her hair. It’s the biggest thing you’ve likely ever seen growing out of a living person’s head.
It’s difficult not to notice how many people in positions of dubious authority wear big, crazy hair. I’ve not made a scientific study of this but it seems to me that TV evangelists are traditionally the most famous for this and, since that group grew from the rural American faithful, the early ones were likely imitating a group that rural Americans already adored, country-western singers. But I think there is something deeper at work here than simple celebrity impersonation. I’ll get to that in a minute.
First, if you tune into any number of Christian preacher shows on TV, you’ll likely see the men strutting around with pompadours of power, while their wives are parading an imposing tower of protein above their pates as well. I’m not sure if this is a trick we borrowed from other species or if it is also evolutionarily ingrained in us, but it works. We see it in politicians of late, too. I think it is no coincidence that Donald Trump and Boris Johnson both sport absurd cockscombs.
Gwen Shamblin Lara, founder of the Remnant Fellowship church in Tennessee.
The Crouches, TV evangelists and founders of the Trinity Broadcast Network.
Boris Johnson and a seditious traitor.
Is it a coincidence that the leader of a troupe of apes is the male with the biggest, most colorful or bulbous face?
Two more venerated leaders.
Regarding natural selection and the habit certain species have of growing outlandish visual displays to attract mates, I used to wonder why it would be seen as beneficial to possess something that makes it easier to be spotted by a predator and more difficult to escape. Surely a peacock could fly more quickly and evasively without schlepping that technicolor trailer around behind him.
If the point of being selective about a mate is to choose one that is most likely to produce offspring that will survive and reproduce, why do females choose mates with a particularly gigantic, colorful, outlandish burst of feathers sticking out of their heads or butts? Wouldn’t that make it more difficult to hide from predators, or escape them if they saw your enormous tail sticking up out of the bushes? The answer is yes, and this is apparently precisely why it attracts the opposite sex. The subconscious or instinctual message is, “If this guy can avoid predators despite that cockamamy headdress, or Mother’s-Day-table centerpiece jutting out if his caboose, he must be a real badass!” I think a similar concept is at play with politicians.
I’ve also noticed this trick works better with conservatives than with liberals and, not surprisingly, I have a theory about that, too. If you’re looking for a leader who is intelligent, well-educated, compassionate, who embraces science, honors the environment, and cares about making the world a better place, you’re going to go for the nebbishy guy with glasses, or the sensible, well-spoken woman with a sophisticated style. But if you’re looking for an authority figure, someone who will take charge and protect you from the myriad things you are afraid of (modern conservative politics are all about “fear of other”) you want the person who is in your face and can physically dominate and intimidate others. It’s also a common animal response when threatened to puff themselves up and make themselves look larger. Giant hair achieves this, too. It is intimidating to others, aggressive even. If you’re face-to-face with a person whose weird hairdo towers above you and you are a normal, polite person, you are at their mercy. They can say and do whatever they want because you’re using all your energy not to stare at their crazy hair or comment on it. You have no idea what they’re saying because you can’t stop thinking, Is this person serious?!
Additionally, outlandish costumes are a traditional sign of authority. Big hair can be seen as a tonsorial substitute for a uniform with a disco mirrorball of medals and brass buttons, and a big Napoleon hat or a crown. And the same subconscious assumption is at work here as it is in the animal kingdom: if this guy can rise through the ranks of successful powerholders looking like a complete idiot, and not get laughed out of the room, he must be a real badass! Plus, he’s easy to spot in a crowd, so I’ll have no trouble following him.
If America continues on its collision course with theocracy, and if Gwen Shamblin had not perished in a plane crash, she may have been its first female president. I suppose there is some small consolation in knowing we’ve dodged at least that bullet.
Happy Independence Day, Jazz Pickles. I hope it isn’t America’s last.
Let’s move on to Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons for the week!
Teller, of Penn and Teller, sent us a note saying how much he enjoyed this Shakespearean comic of Wayno’s. He even posted it on his Instagram account! We were over the moon, of course.
I didn’t add extra comments to Wayno’s work this week because it’s a holiday and we’re off to hang out with friends. I hope you have a great day and week, Jazz Pickles. Your readership is greatly appreciated! If you appreciate us and that we offer our work to you here for free, please consider thanking us via one of the links below!
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