Seedy Customer
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno. He does a weekly blog post, too, and I highly recommend it.
———
Happy birthday, Jazz Pickles. It may not be your birthday today but it is my wife, Olive Oyl’s birthday and I hope that both she and you have a happy day.
Thanks to all of you who left your condolences about the loss of our dear friend, the mudpig. My midweek post about her tragic demise last week was very healing and I’ve been feeling a little more closure since. All of your heartfelt comments have been a real comfort.
This week’s Sunday cartoon (above) says it has 11 Secret Symbols but I just created an answer key for it and I see that it has 12. Sorry about that. I’m not as smart as I look and I don’t look all that smart. I’m not as dimwitted as our bird seed customer above, but that’s a very low bar.
O2 and I drove to a lake in a remote part of Michoacán this weekend and it was lovely. It rained a lot, which ruined a few of our outdoor plans, but it was terrific being around all of that wet forest. Where we live, in the Bajio region of Mexico, is high desert country with a lot of gloriously huge cacti and succulents, but not that many large trees. But a few hours southwest of here, where we spent the weekend, is blanketed with lush, towering pine tree forests and mountains. It was teeming with energy from all that life and we really loved it.
Driving through the state of Michoacán, you encounter a lot of very long, steep hills and so now and then they have those runaway truck ramps full of loose rocks that are meant for truckers whose brakes have gone out. They steer their runaway 18-wheeler onto that exit ramp, it goes up a steep hill and stops the vehicle. It’s a great invention. What’s funny about it, though, is that those escape ramps here are accompanied by signs that say (in Spanish) “allow trucks with failed brakes to pass you.” Really? You think that’s a good idea? To get out of the way of a 40-ton, 14-feet high vehicle racing out of control down a long hill? Thanks for the advice.
We did not see any runaway vehicles on our way home today but we did get stopped at a highway police checkpoint. They occasionally set these things up and stop cars randomly for who-knows-what reason. We’ve passed through dozens of them over the years but no one has ever waved us over until today. Olive was driving (because she loves it and I hate it) and the helpful Mexican cop explained to us in very rapid Spanish that there was something wrong with her driver’s license. After going back and forth about it for several minutes, we realized that what was wrong with it was that we’d not yet paid this officer $50 to be allowed to continue on our journey. Once we figured that out and corrected it, the problem with her driver’s license disappeared. We’ve heard this story from others but until now, have never had one of our own to share. Happy birthday, Olive Oyl!
Finally, my dear wife, the birthday girl, real name Christy, is the heart, soul, and engine of this family and we all love her dearly. We’re so glad she was born all those (not that many) years ago and we hope we never let a day go by without showing her our affection and appreciation!
And now, let’s strive on bravely toward Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons for the week, shall we?…
I used to be in a band and I’ve often thought it’s very much like a marriage, except that you usually can’t rely on sex to make up after you’ve had a big fight.
Myself, I’d go to any party with that many monkeys.
The Mighty Eyeballs are having a pretty good season this year.
I think people should be allowed to paint themselves whatever color they like without judgment from others. Those who paint themselves orange, however, should never be allowed to hold public office.
Monkeys or not, this is another party I’d like to attend.
It might be time to replace that smart-ass puppet’s head with a rotting apple.
That’s the end of our cartoon traffic stop, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for sticking around until the bribe was paid and the license returned. If you like that we do this for free and don’t assault you with pop-ups and clickbait, please consider helping us keep it that way via one or more of the links below. We’ll read your name and smile.
Until next week, if your brakes are out, be sure to psychically alert all of the people in front of you.
BIZARRO SHOP Fun and cheap!
… Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!
…Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels