Balls de Fur

I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno whose weekly blog post I recommend highly.

And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to the Secret Symbols.

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This week’s post was delayed because we were traveling. We’re home again. Yay!

Olive Oyl and I were visiting family in a few different places in the U.S., the culmination of which was a costume party/wedding of one of my daughters the weekend before Halloween. Because I’m still recovering from being squeezed through the commercial airline wringer yesterday (it seems to get worse all the time!) I’ll just post a few fun pics of some of my favorite folks from the party.

We begin with a photo of Olive Oyl and me. She’s dressed as the Wicked Witch of the East, the sister of the more famous one from the West in The Wizard of Oz. That’s a tornado on her hat, just before delivering the fatal blow of a farmhouse to the head. I’m some weird escort of hers, I guess. My costume was not thematically clear.

This is just a closeup of my witch of a wife and her tornado. We’re proud of the way our tornado/farmhouse turned out and wanted to make sure you got a good look at it. That yellow dip isn’t important and that glass thing in the foreground is not a dildo.

Here’s the blushing bride in her wedding gown. She’s been dressing like this and striking this specific pose (among a legion of others) since she was about three years old. Despite the authenticity of the look and the pose, she is the opposite of a diva, which is maybe why she likes to play one on occasion.

Here the bride poses with her younger sibling, whose homemade costume portrays Captain Blackbeard, a character from the TV series Our Flag Means Death. The bride’s sibling is famous for their costume concepts, construction, execution, and ability to stay in character for the duration of the wearing. They’re also known for attempting to teach their old-world father about modern pronoun usage. I’ve no doubt the person in question is rolling their eyes at my lame attempts in this paragraph, but I’m still a work in progress.

This smiling gent is married to Captain Blackbeard and sports a set of authentic lederhosen from wherever those things come from. His marital status makes him my son-in-law Chris. Olive Oyl and I adore him. Despite his appearance in this photo, he is well within the realm of normal human size. Both he and I agree that something about this photo makes him look like a giant.

(Also worth noting: the austere expression on Blackbeard’s face is all a part of staying in character. The person playing the pirate is not as unhappy as they look.)

And here’s my newest son-in-law, Blaze, sharing a toast with Blackbeard. We adore him, too! The groom’s hair and beard are authentic and homegrown, and his clothes are mostly made by his own hands. He’s a wiz at costume design and construction, as well as about two-dozen other things. The whole family is thrilled to have him join our ranks and we’re each compiling lists of things we want him to do for us.

Here, the newlyweds gaze into each other’s eyes in a way that sort of turns your stomach but is forgivable given the circumstances. They make a lovely couple and, accordingly, we love them.

If you weren’t disgusted enough by the previous photo, this is what they look like when kissing.

That wraps up the Halloween photo gallery. Let’s move on to what Wayno was up to with his week of Bizarro cartoons…

Matthew Perry’s death inspired me to think a lot about fame and what it does to individuals and society. I’m working on a little essay on that for next week’s blog.

I missed the Vietnam draft by a only a few years and I still regularly thank the universe for dropping me into that sweetspot.

I find the popularity of camouflage in fashion items not meant to conceal the wearer very curious.

Some readers may need to be reminded that Frankenstein’s monster says that in one or more movies. I can’t recall if he says it in my fave version, Young Frankenstein.

When Olive Oyl and I travel by air, I wear a vest that says “EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL. DO NOT PET.”

I hope that’s printed on his shirt and isn’t a bunny rising up out of his pants.

That’s this week’s cartoon trick-or-treat, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for sticking around to sort and trade our candy. If you’re enjoying that we present our work for free—without ads or clickbait—please consider helping us keep it that way via the links below. We will be impressed with and thankful for your generosity.

Until next week, don’t worry which Halloween candy might be poisoned, diabetes is approaching epidemic proportions: it’s ALL poison!

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