Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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Nasalectomy

I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, a short essay, and then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.

And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.

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Happy New Year’s Eve, Jazz Pickles! This marks my last post for 2023, and in keeping with tradition, here is a list of my ten favorite things about the year, in no particular order.

  1. I was allowed to spend my days drawing pictures and writing jokes and stories for yet another 52 weeks. (The way you spend your day is the way you spend your life.)

  2. We adopted a terrific dog (Lucy) who really does seem nearly finished chewing up pillows, comforters, and blankets. We really think so this time. Really.

  3. Not once was I compelled to contact an insurance company for any reason.

  4. We are friends with all of our neighbors. (Oh, the stories I’ve heard this year about disagreeable neighbors!)

  5. My beloved Olive Oyl and I celebrated ten years together (four years married). She holds the distinct honor of being the only person I have ever married after knowing what I was getting into. Thanks for being wonderful, O2!

  6. Wayno did another terrific job during this, our sixth year of partnership, reaffirming my belief that I could not have chosen better. Thanks for also being wonderful, amigo!

  7. We were blessed with your readership. (Corny, but true.)

  8. I began work on a new project I’m very excited about—my subscription newsletter—and have written some amusing articles for it which I think folks will enjoy.

  9. O2’s and my long-delayed honeymoon trip to Europe was the most fun we’ve had with our clothes on during our decade-long relationship. 

  10. For the entirety of 2023, I was not once aware of needing to win a national election next fall to stay out of prison. That kind of peace of mind is priceless!

I’m also thankful for my Peyote Cowboy readers. The site experienced a cave-in a couple of weeks ago and we had to dig our characters out of the dark tunnels of the internet. A couple of days ago they were heroically rescued, fed, cleaned up, rested, and are now back at work in a new episode called “One Quick Question.” If you’re looking to support the arts for the new year, please consider joining my posse as a Peyote Cowpoke. (My pitch video)

I had planned to launch my subscription newsletter project—The Naked Cartoonist—this weekend, but there are a couple of small technical problems that are delaying us for another week or two. I was disappointed by that at first, but now see that the inner workings of the Universe are likely steering me to a later launch to let the hubbub of the new year wear off a bit before trying to introduce a new thing. We’ll all be able to think more clearly once we start smoking again and the excitement of our new gym membership wears off.

Speaking of which, do you have any resolutions for the new year? I have only the same one I’ve had every year for decades: Not to wait until the new year to make important changes. 

Thanks for dropping by this year. I hope your ’23 was gratifying and your ’24 will exceed your hopes!

Let’s end the year with Wayno’s latest Bizarro cartoons…

It might have been the special brownies that he ate at my house.

One of those boxes may have contained the NEW BIZARRO WALL CALENDAR FOR 2024!

Dealing with fussy rich people is every bit as difficult and dangerous being a cop in the real world.

He usually wears a paisley shirt at home, to hide stains.

Isn’t the goofy outfit punishment enough, officer?

Our little troll-in-training marks the end of this post and this year’s cartoon offerings. Thanks for joining us. If you’ve enjoyed our work and appreciate that we offer it for free, please consider helping us continue to do so via the links below. We’ll thank you for your generosity all year long!

See you next year, Jazz Pickles.

… Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!

Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels  

King Features Subscription + archive access

COMICS KINGDOM SHOP (now with Bizarro products!)

WAYNO’S TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!

My wife, Olive Oyl’s art, writing, and photography