Speaking Accessories
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno whose weekly blog post I recommend highly.
Here’s the ANSWER KEY to this week’s Secret Symbols in the Sunday comic, above.—————————————————————————
Welcome, Jazz Pickles and others.
Today I’ll continue with some thoughts from my wife’s and my recent trip to Europe. I will start with a quote from one of her Instagram posts which eloquently expresses what I had also been feeling.
“We arrived in Paris yesterday. We have a lovely little apartment on the Isle of Saint Louis, right across from where Notre Dame (still) stands. I snapped a few shots of the ongoing restoration efforts from the enormous fire that destroyed much of the church in April 2019 (a few weeks before Dan and I got married, incidentally). We’re here in part celebrating our marriage, remembering our vows and goals of a deeper love. The third picture shows makeshift bleachers where people can sit and observe Notre Dame and her accompanying scaffolds and cranes; their gaze an important part of her healing. This morning I woke to news of Tina Turner’s passing, the one-year anniversary of the Uvalde massacre of children, and the birthday of our dear friend, Anado, who passed a few years ago. (Himself a masterful artist!) Today we will be touring the Louvre, remembering masters and their extraordinary contributions to the still living. So remembrance has emerged as a theme on the last leg of our European journey. I’m feeling both full and empty with all of this sadness, joy, and marvel swirling around inside of me. I’ll be sitting, like the observers of Notre Dame, with all of these feelings about these things of life, death, and rebirth. The privilege of travel is not lost on me; I am grateful for all of it. With love, from Paris.” —Christy Higgins
(You can follow the inimitable Olive Oyl on Instagram and see her art as well as many of her photos from Europe: christy_higgins_creative.)
My wife’s reflections on the rebirth of Notre Dame and the swirling emotions that our experiences in Europe created in us are spot-on. It was inspiring to see the great many monuments, cathedrals, sculptures, and paintings that seemingly litter Europe like confetti after a parade, but disheartening to be reminded of the great many tragedies, injustices, and cruelties that many of them represent. In contrast to the New World, thousands of years of human history are in evidence almost everywhere you look. To view the ruins of ancient Rome or the spectacular works of art in the Uffizi and Louvre is to revisit the mixture of light and dark that inspired them.
It is tempting to wish our world was a utopia but if it were, much of the artistic expression we find so moving would not exist. For myriad reasons, we humans tend to create our most profound works in the shadow of pain. Fans of popular music are familiar with the concept that many songwriters do their best work after a painful break-up; when we’re happy and relaxed, we don’t produce the kind of art that we do when we’re miserable.
So to wish away the darkness of this world is to wish away the light that created it. Like it or not, we live in a dimension of opposites in tension: pleasure and pain, love and hate, peace and war. Each extreme exists because of the other. Bright lights make dark shadows and it will likely never be any different. Not in this dimension, anyway.
Our travels encouraged us to experience all of it, in person and in glorious detail (despite the crowds!) and it was a privilege and a blessing. It was especially meaningful to be able to experience it with my life partner, Christy (whom I refer to on this site as Olive Oyl), who misses nothing and always broadens my perspective on life.
Below are a few of my fave photos from the trip. A few are Christy’s and she’s a much better photographer than I. You can find many examples of her photography and collage on her Instagram.
What Americans and the French call “pain” are very different.
Here is a masterwork by Delacroix that is an example of magnificent art brought about by tragedy. Even if the event depicted may not actually have occurred, it is an expression of human misery that can only be achieved through experience.
This unretouched photo of the Eiffel tower leads me to believe they employ a gardner who is a hundred feet tall.
This statue is on the grounds of the Louvre. My French isn’t very good but I think the plaque says it’s the goddess of drop cloths.
This is a very big big toe from antiquity. The statue it belonged to was never found so no one knows how big it was. The toe is about a foot high and two feet long. It may be from a sculpture of an ancestor of the Eiffel Tower gardener.
This photo was not taken with the camera at an angle. This is the hallway inside the walls of the dome of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. We hiked all the way up and it gets really freaky toward the top as the walls lean inward with the shape of the dome. After this part was a narrow stairway that is barely wide enough for the average American to fit through.
This is a detail of the Milan train station. How many tranportation buildings these days get this kind of ornamentation? That guy and his horse are at least twice natural size, maybe bigger.
If you’re looking for decorating ideas for the ceiling of your TV room, Europe has plenty of inspiration. (Speaking of the dark side of Europe, imagine the kind of person who thinks their home should look like this.)
Can anyone tell me what the hell is supposed to be going on here and why someone spent so much time capturing it in marble?
We loved the Art Nouveau Metro stations in Paris. France is not a country that shies away from ornamentation.
We happened to walk to St. Peter’s Square in front of The Vatican late one night and it was utterly deserted. You could walk right past all the stockyard railings that herd the crowds in the daytime and go right to the front doors of the basilica. It was really magical. We happened to notice this very impressive sculpture way over to one side of the square. It’s a boat full of refugees from all countries and backgrounds. The figures are all life-size. If we’d not been there at night, we likely would’ve missed it entirely as this area is always packed with people during the daytime.
This is a tree we came across in Switzerland that damn near changed my life. It was hundreds of feet tall and so big around you couldn’t reach halfway. Such majesty!
Here’s a hotel in Switzerland that isn’t nearly as douchy as its name implies. (rimshot)
Here are the happy honeymooners at a sidewalk cafe in Milan. I loved that wine and I love that woman.
And that (probably) is my final vacation report. Ego dictates that we end the series with a shot of us that we both like so I chose this one from Florence. That orange glow from the sunset always makes a person look younger and healthier!
At long last, we come to Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons from the week…
As a lover of chocolate and a hater of the taste of mushrooms, I’ve never understood why any culture would use the same word for both.
I have to wonder how many paces they take before turning. Those handles are only so long.
In case I lose my house key, I always leave a crowbar hidden under the mat.
Not a scarecrow as much as a bouncercrow.
We like to use the Young version of Hollywood’s Frankensteins.
I wonder if prison dishes are as notable as prison tattoos.
We’re done here, people. Thanks for sticking around to help us sweep up. If you dig the vibes we’re laying down, daddio, please consider showing your appreciation via one of the links below. We offer these cartoons here for free with no ads, clickbait, or paywalls and appreciate your support.
Until next time, keep your garlic grater hidden from the screws.
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