High-Speed Tongue Fun
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, a short essay, and then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
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Hey there, Pickles de Jazz. I confess I’ve had a rough week and, like the hapless fool in my cartoon above, I could use a high-speed tongue-wagging down the Autobahn to clear my mental toxins. Unfortunately, neither of my dogs drives very well and my wife objects to my hanging out the window at high speeds.
I’ve been talking for weeks about my new project, a subscription newsletter called, The Naked Cartoonist. To create it we’ve had to erect a paywall, build and program new areas on my website, fiddle with changes to my Bizarro domain, change my email list provider and the templates that come with that, and design several new pages and sections for all that stuff.
Even though I’ve had lots of tech help from the eldest of my two daughters (K1 of the K2 of Secret Symbols fame), there has still been a lot for me to do and very little of it comes naturally to me. Learning to design new pages within the very limited, middle-of-the-road templates these websites give you has been a challenge similar to doing my taxes in a foreign language without a calculator or a human brain.
I can take some types of challenges in stride but technical computer stuff fills me with rage. I contain my frustration as long as I can but eventually blow my top, throw stuff, invent new profanities and shout them to the four corners of the earth. When I’m full of this kind of personality poison, I act like a rabid ape.
The bad news is we’re still not ready to launch. The good news is my wife has not yet left me and the newsletter area is very close to being finished. I shouldn’t type this next clause out loud in case it jinxes us, but I think I’ll be ready by mid-week. I hope to do a special post on Wednesday with samples of what you’ll get with The Naked Cartoonist, and a link to sign up.
As soon as I get this damn thing wrangled, I’ll get back to teaching my dogs to drive better. But for now, let’s unwind with some quick chucklement from my able partner in comedy, Wayno. Here are his Bizarro cartoons from the week…
I sometimes refer to people who have unrealistically high expectations that they will never come close to achieving as “soaring like a lemming”.
Often just as good as the green kind.
It always amazes me how few trees carry a spare.
Seems odd that this mouse hole is the size of a cat’s head. Kitties: Beware of rodent guillotines.
“Double vanilla macchiato skinny with sprinkles for Jedediah…”
If you thought office politics were complicated for humans…
That’s the grand finale of our cartoon opera, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for sticking around until the width-abundant lady sings. If you like what we do and want to help us keep our cartoons free to read, please consider helping us keep it this way via the links below. We’ll thank you from the buttocks of our hearts.
Until next time, keep your rabid ape away from the apes you love.
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