I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, a short essay, and then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend. My fave quote from this week’s post of his is, “…my mind’s nose.”

And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.

Welcome Jazz Pickles, Nudists, and others. Bienvenidos!

I always feature a title panel at the top of these posts because most readers never see them anywhere else. I’m required to include them in my submissions to client newspapers because a few of our Sunday clients use them in their comics supplements. (Remember newspapers? Those big sheets of very thin wood covered in important information and appliance ads?)

Today’s title panel with the giant head of lettuce was crafted from a Sunday cartoon I did fourteen years ago. It’s still one of my faves, so I’ll share it with you again here.

Like the giant lettuce cartoon, today’s joke about the falling bean is related to the fairy tale of Jack and the Beanstalk, but can also be seen as an allegory of Oklahoma.

Oklahoma? Yes. I grew up there and still return a few times each year to visit family. Up until recently, Oklahoma earthquakes were unheard of. Now they get two or three each day. (Not a typo.) Oklahoma is now far more seismically active than California!

The earth-shakers come from oil and natural gas fracking. Oklahoma is a red state—which means Republicans control it—which also means they will favor corporate profits over human beings or the planet we live on. That’s not my opinion, it’s the history of the Republican party going back to around 1900.

My giant bean cartoon is an allegory in that in the fairy tale neighborhood above, one guy, Jack, gets filthy rich, while his neighbors suffer the consequences. Sounds like Oklahoma to me!

Changing directions, if this restaurant cartoon doesn’t make sense, it’s because it is from my members-only weekly newsletter, The Naked Cartoonist. The latest article is called “A Visitor’s Guide to American Restaurants,” and this cartoon illustrates one of my recommendations therein.

If you haven’t joined yet, please consider doing so TODAY, because anyone who has signed up at any level before midnight CST tonight will be entered to win a personalized sketch card I will draw just for you! I’m giving away five, and the number of subscribers is still low enough that your odds of winning one are astronomically better than of winning the lottery. (The odds of my sketch card improving your life beyond your wildest dreams are also far better than of winning the lottery.)

Here are some things readers have said about my newsletter recently:

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Thoroughly enjoyed both features.” —I. D.

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Thanks to all my Nudists (subscribers) for joining my fluttering fiesta of comedy! I’ll be busting my knuckles to keep you entertained. Find out about The Naked Cartoonist here.

And find out about Wayno’s most recent week of Bizarro cartoons HERE!…

Scientists say domestic cats live an average of 12 to 18 years. So with nine lives, that means you can expect them to live 108 to 162 years. That’s why, unless you’re a vampire, it is important to designate someone to adopt your cat for the remainder of its lives after you’re gone. Thanks science!

It’s kinda hard to talk about.

Both he and the recliner have a “vibrate” setting. Robots in Oklahoma rarely use them, though. (See opening paragraphs above.)

He dreads letting them grow out.

This is definitely going to catch on in a big way in corporate America. I can feel it.

They’re lucky. Cartoons rarely age well.

That's this week’s Last Call, Jazz Pickles. Time to drink up and call a cab. If you’ve enjoyed that we’ve kept these weekly cartoon missives free to read, and free of pop-up ads and clickbait, please consider showing your gratitude by subscribing to my members-only newsletter. You’ll be entertained and I’ll be a few bucks closer to making a meager living in a world gone mad!

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