I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, a short essay, and then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.

And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.

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Good moment to you, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for your eyes and minds for the next few minutes.

My cartoon today (above) treads on thin ice. In these days of cultural inclusion (which I applaud, as annoying as some of our efforts at policing it can sometimes be) some readers may be uncomfortable by my use of the term “Indian.” 

But humor is sometimes about making people a little nervous and then letting them off the hook; the release of that nervousness is laughter. 

But in this cartoon, I’m using the term not inconsiderately but as a humor trigger, bringing attention to the fact that for over 500 years, the name we’ve called the millions of people to first populate North America was the result of a stupid mistake by a bumbling fool. 

We all know that Columbus foolishly thought the world was much smaller than it is and that he could get to India faster by sailing west instead of around the tip of Africa. He was wrong when he left Europe and wrong when he stumbled upon the two continents blocking his path. He assumed he was in India even though none of the markets trading spices, gold, and silk that India was known for were anywhere to be found. But like some of the lying politicians of today, he doubled down and insisted he’d succeeded, calling the locals “Indians.”

Imagine someone thinking they could walk from Pittsburgh to Germany, stumbling upon Philadelphia, and insisting he was in Berlin and everyone there were Germans. It would be surprising if a holiday were established for that guy, statues erected in his honor, and numerous countries and cities were named after him, but that’s what Columbus got for being dead wrong. Go figure.

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If you’ve enjoyed my writing on my Bizarro blog, I think you’ll love what I’m doing in my subscription newsletter, The Naked Cartoonist. I’m posting a short piece of creative writing each Friday, along with photos, videos, unpublished art, and other fun stuff, including a giveaway! 

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Click here for a sample of the sort of stuff I’m writing and a link for subscribing. I cherish your support.

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Time now for some Bizarro cartoons from my partner, Wayno, who lives in Pittsburgh but has never confused Philadelphia for Berlin.

A Spanish-speaking reader commented that this license plate made their mind go to “por soplar,” which means “for blowing.” As a fledgling Spanish speaker, I got a chuckle from that.

Another commenter asked which person is supposed to be normal-sized. Another commenter told them to look at the caption. I wonder if Wayno will ever do a cartoon about a “condomaximum.”

“…so I tossed an olive into his mouth.”

I’d be hoping the auditorium was also filled with recliners.

I visited Dante’s house in Florence last year. His decor style was surprisingly museum-like.

I can’t help but wonder if he’s not talking about the cape but rather, a bustier he is also wearing. A clever commenter on my IG feed said, ‘He needs a manscape.”

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That concludes this week’s comedy audit. Thanks for ignoring our lack of expense receipts. If you enjoy our free cartoons, consider relieving your guilt via one or more of the links below. A subscription to The Naked Cartoonist will fully absolve you of this and a panoply of other sins.

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