Bizarro | Naked Cartoonist

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Aviary Exhibitionists

I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, thoughts and comments, and the week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.

And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.


Wilkommen, Jazz Pickles and Nudists!

We’ll start today at the top. The title panel I used this week (parrot lady and crow cop, above) was cobbled together from a Sunday cartoon from 2010. (See below) It is always fun to be able to turn a common expression into an alternative world with an illustration. I don’t know where the expression “naked as a jaybird” came from; I’ve never seen any kind of bird that wasn’t naked.

Notice that the byline says “W/Cabeza.” A guy I’ve corresponded with occasionally over many years uses the online pseudonym “Richard Cabeza” and it was he who suggested the punch line. (Not the Swedish musician who pops up if you google the name.) I’ve gotten such a kick out of his comedy moniker—which can be translated in Spanglish as “dick head”—that I used it for one of the characters in my graphic novel, Peyote Cowboy. (My version of Cabeza is a Mexican dwarf. He stars in this episode (and many others).

After the late January launch of my creative writing project, The Naked Cartoonist, for most of February, I sponsored a giveaway of five personalized sketch cards for anyone who signed up at either level. (monthly, yearly)

And the winners are: David, Leslie, Jeff, Stacey, and a different David. Congratulations!

They’ve been notified via email so if you’re a subscriber but have not received an email from me, I’m sorry to say you didn’t win. Please don’t be mad. I’ll run a contest like this again soon.

I’ve been having a lot of fun writing for the NC, but also recording stuff for it. I’m doing an audio version of each article so you don’t have to move your eyes back and forth so many times reading, and also a very short introduction video for each. I like eccentric clothing and hats, so I’ve been wearing something different with each one. Here’s the latest, from last Friday’s post. I’ve been told I look like I’m running for president against Rutherford B. Hayes.

Speaking of recordings, I did a podcast this week with the amazing Andrew Couch of Monkey Tooth Podcast and the Raised By Whoops Fake Radio Show. Listen to my episode here! (Slight spoiler: I cry a little.)

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE giving my stuff away for free, but funny clothing and hats cost money, so while this Bizarro Blog is still free, I’m charging $5 a month for my writing in The Naked Cartoonist. I do a new article with some extras each week, so that’s usually $1.25 per post. However, this year has FOUR months with FIVE Fridays, so for a full third of this year, they’re only a buck per article! That’s cheaper than a small cup of burnt coffee from Starbucks, and you’ll get more chuckles from my writing than you will from any commercially sold coffee. (There have been rumors of coffee infused with nitrous oxide, but you have to buy that from back-alley dentists.)

I hope you’ll consider joining me at The Naked Cartoonist. It’s clothing optional, of course.


Enough of that nonsense, let’s discover in what ways Wayno has exposed himself in his Bizarro cartoons this week…

If you don’t think most menus are hard to read, you’re under forty. I didn’t know this until I reached those dark recesses of aging, but your eyes don’t just get blurry after a certain age, they need more light. Glasses only take care of one of those duel inconveniences. For the other, we recommend a miner’s helmet.

Also known as a “ diabetes foundation” year. (For certain foreign readers: “Eggo” is a brand of frozen waffle you can heat in your toaster and pretend is food.)

Many commenters have wondered if this guy was arrested for attempted murder. Yup.

Some readers suggested the following change to the dialogue from the film: “Do you expect me to talk?” “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to melt.”

Readers have asked where the Secret Symbols are in this cartoon, but the cockroach already explains that.

You’d think they’d have computerized by now but the wifi sucks at that altitude.

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That’s it for this week’s conjugal comedy visit. Thanks for sticking around to change the sheets. If you’re enjoying our content and that we offer it for free, please consider helping us keep it that way via one of the options below. We will love you even more, if that’s possible.

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