Eternal Liars’ Club
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The large Sunday Bizarro comic above is mine, as are the comments below. The past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics that follow were written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
Welcome, Pickles of Jazz. Thanks for looking our direction.
I wasn’t going to mention it, but my wife and Wayno (two different people) said I should, and they are both more reasonable than I am, so I am relenting.
Last week was Bizarro’s 40th anniversary.
I never thought I’d say that. It seems simultaneously like yesterday and ten lifetimes ago that I began this career. As I regularly proclaim, There is no greater mind-f*ck than time!
In the early ‘80s, I was working as a commercial illustrator doing realistic drawings of food products for newspaper ads and coupons. It was better than making change in a toll booth, but not much more exciting.
In my spare time, I drew cartoons to entertain myself. After a few of years of that, I had nearly a hundred and thought getting them published might be a way to escape advertising. I sent them to newspaper syndication companies and hoped for the best.
Instead of “the best,” I got a basket of rejection letters.
In 1984, however, a small San Francisco syndicate called Chronicle Features decided to give me a try. They had given Gary Larson his first break five years previous and in 1985, he moved The Far Side to a larger syndicate. That left a slot in CF’s stable that they filled with Bizarro.
My first cartoon ran on Jan 21, 1985. (For non-Americans, that’s 21 January, 1985.) The following ugly drawing of a fairly stupid joke was my first syndicated cartoon.
It was a big deal and I was thrilled. I thought my ship had come in, and soon I’d be sailing it away from the advertising world forever. But a couple of facts followed that were like a two-by-four to the teeth:
1) It had taken me three years to complete my first 100 cartoons. They got me signed to a syndication contract, but only two of that original batch were considered professional enough to publish. After signing that first 5-year contract, I had 100 days to create the next 100 cartoons. And then one each day, 365 days a year, for five years.
Looking at the five-year picture, it seemed an impossible task to write and draw 1825 cartoons (give or take a leap year). I lay awake at night wondering if I only had 200 cartoon ideas in me and what I’d do when I hit that wall.
Then the second Reality Shoe dropped…
2) My first monthly royalty check was around $100. (It takes years to build a client list that will support you.) It would take me 12 more years to be able to quit my day job in advertising.
It was the worst get-rich-quick scheme one could imagine.
Now, forty years later, I can’t believe I’ve written and drawn so many cartoons. (And I’m still not rich.) Since Jan of 2018, Wayno has done 6/7th of the writing and drawing, so my daily efforts ended after 33 years. Still, that was over 12,000 cartoons. WTF?!
Fortunately, creativity happens one moment at a time. I didn’t have to cough up 12,000+ cartoons all at once, I could do it one day at a time. It’s how everything gets done.
I love this expression from writer Annie Dillard (paraphrased):
How you spend your day is how you spend your life.
I’ve made art and comedy of one kind or another every day of my life. I haven’t enjoyed every moment, but the majority of it has been pretty gratifying. And I’m not done yet.
Have fun each day, Jazz Pickles.
Quickly: For reasons hinted at in my Sunday cartoon above, I’m no longer supporting Meta platforms, so I won’t be posting on Facebook or Instagram anymore. I’ll post a bit on Bluesky, but to see our daily cartoons, you can subscribe to King Features’ Comicskingdom.com or come to this blog post each Sunday to see the week’s comics for free.
Time now to visit the products of Wayno’s mind in his Bizarro cartoons for the week…
For one thing, the character on the left sees twice as many versions of whatever they’re watching.
Office hot tubs are always a great way to show off your tattoos to your coworkers.
Over time, his left buttock will be as overdeveloped as that peg.
A girlfriend of mine many years ago told me only turtles look good in turtlenecks.
The great thing about fantasy pinball is that it easily converts to fantasy air hockey.
We could all use one. I’m hoping mine is Shirley MacLaine.
That’s this week’s roundup, amigos. If you’ve enjoyed some of our cartoons over the past 40 years, please consider tossing us a thanks via one or more of the links below. We’ll appreciate you like a ghost appreciates a clean, starched, 400-count, Egyptian cotton sheet.
The Naked Cartoonist…My every-other-week subscription newsletter of humorous creative writing, photos, art, & more.
… Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!
WAYNO’S TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!
My graphic novel PEYOTE COWBOY
…Signed, numbered, limited-edition prints and original Bizarro panels
OUR BIZARRO SHOP Secret Symbol stickers, Jazz Pickle Koozies, & more
COMICS KINGDOM SHOP Now with Bizarro shirts, prints, & other crap!