Cave Art

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(Cause the below cartoon to embiggenate by tapping the big elephant.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Being Considerate.

Should you be having any trouble with understanding today’s cartoon, think about what cave dwellers typically painted and where they painted them. Then consider the definition of avant-garde. If you still don’t get it, go to the nearest window and jump out of it. But make sure it is on the ground level and that there is a soft place to land. No need to get overly dramatic about a cartoon, for crap’s sake.
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String Theory

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(Your cartoon experience will be more sizeable if you embiggenate the following cartoon by clicking it.)

Today’s cartoon has a few fun background gags and TWELVE! Secret Symbols so don’t miss that particular avenue of amusement.

Back in the mid-80s, a friend of mine was at my house one afternoon when he pulled from his jacket pocket a lump of black plastic roughly the size and weight of a brick and began speaking to it as though it were a person. It was one of the first cell phones, which were not yet available to the public and which I’d not even heard had been invented. It sounds ridiculous now, but at the time I was aghast and could not believe he was making a phone call without wires. I’ve never been one to adopt new technology quickly, so it was still a decade or more before I snipped the strings and threw away the cups I’d been using before that.
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Close Shave

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(Make your day largerized by embiggenating the following cartoon with a click to the executioner’s belly.)

A few commenters admonished me about the above cartoon because “beheadings are no laughing matter.” Then I got some comments about sensitive skin being no laughing matter, and one about big, hairy, shirtless men in leotards being no laughing matter. I totally agree with that last one.
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Bacon in the Sun

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(To begin the embiggenation you crave, click any pig’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by No One Is Immune To Internet Ratings.

At first, this seems like a very dangerous situation for Señor Cerdo, because there are a lot of humans who cannot resist the smell of cooking pig. But fear not; Señor Cerdo is nobody’s fool––he and his esposa patronize exclusively swine-only beaches and they always make it back home with their bacon bits intact.
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