No Sense

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It is obvious to anyone familiar with actual journalism that most of the world has been going to hell a whole lot faster in the past three years. “It feels apocalyptic” is a phrase I’ve heard numerous times and uttered myself on more than one occasion.

But it’s not bad news for everyone. Therapists are likely doing a booming business the likes of which they’ve not seen since the GOP was robotically uttering “weapons of mass destruction” on an hourly basis and marching toward further destabilization of the Middle East. If the current dumpster fire of a government continues to allow the Orange Toddler to play with matches in the White House, I’m thinking sales of sensory deprivation tanks might take off as well, if they’ve not already done so.

I’ve not tried a sensory-deprivation tank but I’ve always wanted to. I’m a little claustrophobic, however, and in the past few years I’ve developed an irrational fear of drowning or suffocating, so I think maybe it isn’t in the cards for me. (Everyone should be afraid of drowning but I’ve begun having small but weird panic attacks over it when I’m in the shower or have a stuffy nose. Makes no sense!)

I’ve already done the philosophical equivalent of smashing my TV in that I never watch American news or commercials. I watch TV via Netflix, Hulu, etc., and get my news from legitimate newspapers online and literally never watch videos of the Apricot Assfruit or the spineless cowards who prop him up. It can be very calming to go many months without seeing the Cheeto Mussolini move or hearing him lie or whine. I recommend it.

Speaking of throngs of rich people trying to destroy the world for their temporary profit, let’s see what jewels of wisdom were hidden in Wayno’s musical cartoon box last week…

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I can’t even count the number of children I never had and I’ve never received so much as a thank you card or online comment from a single one. Ingrates.

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Which is your favorite Deadly Sin? Here’s the official list: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth. Dishonesty isn’t even on the list even though it wrecks more lives than envy or sloth ever did. Lust is one that virtually every human who ever lived has experienced numerous times daily for many of the middle decades of their lives and is biologically impossible to avoid, but only if you’re talking about sexual lust. If you’re talking about lust for power over others, I agree it belongs on this list.

Greed and pride are two that you could argue are the main messages of U.S. culture: Buy more stuff and have voluminous pride in your country and the military. (Until any of them, no matter how decorated, patriotic, and honorable they are object to your greed, wrath, or dishonesty (should be the list! ) and then it is recommended to trash them and assassinate their character. According to the Republican Party, that is.)

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Hallucinations are often mistaken for surrealism. Especially among toddlers.

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And be sure to get them a toy SUV so that they can practice swerving while texting and sitting in the middle of the street blocking traffic while they leisurely unload passengers.

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The most common thing readers have wondered about The Boy Wonder is if Batman and Robin are gay. And some would say there’s no need to wonder.

Over on Wayno’s weekly blog post about this batch of cartoons, he mentions another burning question that Bat-fans have been debating for decades. Have a look, but don’t forget to come back and finish!

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Blimey, I love this pun.

If you enjoy things that you like and you like to give things to others that they will enjoy, perhaps a visit to the Bizarro Shop is in order. We’ve recently added a bunch of new products for the Jazz Pickle in your life, or in yourself. As the newspaper industry shrinks, so does my income so if you like what we do and that we do it for free—without ads or paywalls—please have a look at some of the links below. Every little bit helps to keep beans in the cast iron pot at Rancho Bizarro!

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Thanks for swerving through traffic with us for yet another cartoon journey, Jazz Pickles. We appreciate your readership!

Until next time, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance, fascism, and nationalism.

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