Kids Today
I’d like to thank The Apricot Assfruit for writing this cartoon for me. Sadly, I only had room to illustrate eleven of his childish and appalling practices. As well as this cartoon works, I wish it did not have reason to exist. But politics, like life, is a series of peaks and valleys, penthouses and swamps, trailer parks and dumpster fires. In the big picture, we humans are but a cloud of gnats passing briefly through.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun while we’re slogging through it! One sure-fire way to work your giggle muscles is to give Bizarro gifts to yourself and others! To assist, we’re having a FLASH SALE right now! All products are 15% off from noon today, Sunday, Dec 8, 2019, to noon Tuesday, Dec 10. (Eastern Time, U.S.) Sale code is FLASH
Last thing you need to know is this:
Holiday shipping deadlines to guarantee delivery by Dec 23!
US: order by Dec 13
Europe: December 15th (express shipping only)
Canada/Everywhere Else: December 12th (express shipping only)
Have a peek at the Bizarro Shop now! (Then come right back for the rest of the fun.)
Now let’s find out what inappropriate behavior Wayno was cartooning about last week…
According to all accounts, this is a milder version of what it’s like to work in the White House these days. The word “Faustian” comes to mind.
I’ll have to ask Wayno to be sure, but I think this kid’s dad is Yukon Cornelius from the 60s TV version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
I know it’s not “PC” to say so, but most “bros” just don’t get the finer aspects of Asian culture.
"Won’t be around" because he’ll be on his private, climate-controlled island with a handful of other billionaire, polluting, climate change deniers. How I’d love to see that Lord of the Flies scenario play out.
Also no fan of Tolstoy, his upstairs neighbor, Warren Peace, who never got a penny from the novel he inspired.
Even when I leave the engine running, I usually forget that the doors lock automatically after a couple minutes and then my robber accomplices have to jiggle the door handles and bang on the windows while I look for the tiny unlock button. #IWishIWasKidding
And that ends our cartoon heist for today, Jazz Pickles. Everyone squeeze into the getaway car and we’ll skedaddle. If you’re enjoying our cartoons, please consider visiting our links below. And don’t miss our FLASH SALE going on for the next 48 HOURS! (See above)
Until next time, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and Trumpism.
BIZARRO SHOP (FLASH sale from noon today until noon Tuesday! Code: FLASH)
DIEGO PIRARO FINE ART…where you can buy my paintings or prints of them from me personally!
…Daily Bizarro IN YOUR EMAIL + archive access
…Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels