Plastic Attraction Parable

Bizarro 08-29-10 HdrWB.jpg
Bizarro 06-20-21 WEB.jpg

Here is a cartoon about that couple you’ve perhaps heard about. They’re the people who collected so many refrigerator magnets that all of their friends and neighbors talked about it, the local news did a human-interest story on them, and their homemade video about it went viral and made several “best of” lists on the Internet. You wouldn’t believe how many “likes” and views they got.

Then the wife ran off with a refrigerator magnet salesman that she met at a trade show and as a result, the husband lost his interest in the collection entirely. Even the very funny one about CHEATING on your diet made him think of his sorrows. 

One sleepless night, while searching for a midnight snack, he opened the door and the whole damned fridge fell forward on top of him, trapping him inside. The force of the fall did not unplug the malevolent machine, however, and by morning, the man was dead from exposure.

Soon thereafter, the salesman snuck off and stranded the wife in Vegas, where the only job she could find was as an auto valet at the same refrigerator magnet trade show that she used to attend as a celebrity.

Excuse my little parable. I’ve been reading Siddhartha again, which I read when I was a teen and now realize I did not understand AT ALL. I sense that I totally understand it now, which probably means I don’t understand it on an even deeper level. Such is the nature of existence, and I’m honored to have been given the chance to grapple with it.

What parables lie in Wayno’s Bizarro cartoons from this week, I wonder? Let’s find out…

Bz C 210614 P.jpg

We thought it was prudent to make the use of the home wax kit fairly explicit.

Bz C 210615 P.jpg

I’ve not only heard of that band but I used to be a roadie for them. The drummer was pretty cool but the guitarist was an asshole.

Bz C 210616 P.jpg

If you have an aversion to reading references to oral sex, perfectly respectable and diplomatic though they may be, stay away from Wayno’s weekly blog post this week. It’s the first time I’m aware of that he’s touched on the topic in his blog posts, and it likely won’t be a regular theme by any means. Certainly not in reference to Batman, anyway.

Bz C 210617 P.jpg

It’s easy, Grandpa, like I’ve showed you before. Just select the follower’s name and hit the “smite” key.

Bz C 210618 P.jpg

My alternative text for this cartoon is, “I hope you think getting wet is funny,” and the caption at bottom would be, “WHY CLOWNS AREN’T FUNNY.”

Bz C 210619 P.jpg

The most unrealistic part of this cartoon is the sight of two dogs ignoring a piece of unguarded food.

That concludes this week’s comedy migraine, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for sticking around until we regained consciousness. If you enjoy our attempts and appreciate that we keep it free, without ads, please consider tossing us a crumb or two via the links below. We’ll thank you by name, out loud when we see it on our screens.

Until next time, enjoy now—it’s the only time it ever is.

BIZARRO SHOP We have new stuff in the shop that’s fun and cheap!

… Bizarro TIP JAR

Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels  

PEYOTE COWBOY WEBSITE

SUPPORT Peyote Cowboy

PeyoteCowboy on Facebook

Peyote Cowboy Instagram

DIEGO PIRARO FINE ART

Bizarro Cartoons on Instagram 

King Features Subscription + archive access

Previous
Previous

Cold Case

Next
Next

Peas on Earth