Poker Phase
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, then a short essay, then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner, Wayno. He does a weekly blog post, too, and I highly recommend it.
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The whole idea of a regular poker game seems really cool in a Hollywood cliche kind of way. I know a number of people who participate in regular games with the same group and I envy how much they enjoy them. I like almost every part of that equation: a small group of friends, regular meetings, snacks, booze, cigars even. But for some reason, I’ve never been attracted to poker. I’ve never put a lot of thought into it before, I realize now it is the playing of cards part that I don’t care for.
I like physical games quite a lot—darts, bowling, badminton, corn hole—and I like trivia games and games like Cards Against Humanity, but I’ve never cared much for poker. I know there’s a skill to it somehow but the deal itself is so random that it seems like too much of a game of chance, a category which I don’t care for. (That personality trait alone has saved me millions of dollars in Vegas.)
I say there’s a skill to it “somehow” because I can’t imagine skill having anything to do with it; I’ve never gotten past the consistently lousy hands I am dealt to get to the skill part. I’m the guy who gets dealt a 2, 3, 5, 7, and 9, in four different suits EVERY SINGLE HAND. Don’t tell me that’s not possible, I’ve lived it. Mathematical odds are so steep against getting such terrible hands as consistently as I do that after a while, the only explanation that seems plausible is that God hates me.
But since I like the atmosphere and idea of a regular poker game, maybe I should just find one that will let me hang out on the periphery and join in the conversation without actually playing. I could refresh drinks, refill chip bowls, empty ashtrays, and just be the guy that Joe Pesci shoots. I might even make some tips.
Let’s see what cards were in Wayno’s white-gloved, three-fingered cartoon hand last week as he crafted the following Bizarro cartoons…
This week’s cartoons (excluding my Sunday panel above) share a theme. Can you tell what it is? After you’ve given up, go to Wayno’s weekly blog post and read his explanation. It’s very meta. You’ll also learn the very interesting names of various parts of a cartoon, many of which I’d never even heard of.
When I’m stuck in a boring meeting, I also often draw shoes.
Wayno reports that a deaf cartoonist friend of his related to this gag in a couple of ways. An interesting perspective that neither he nor I considered beforehand.
Last time Wayno got arrested, they were still using old-fashioned tape recorders in the interrogation room.
I can’t read that well enough to translate but I think she’s saying something about a Shit Clown.
Did you manage to get the common theme in this week’s Wayno cartoons? Whether you did or not, Wayno’s blog is an interesting read each week and we both thank you for paying attention to our cartooning hobby. If you like what we do and want to thank us for doing it for free, we’ve provided the links below for your convenience and amusement.
Until next week, don’t forget to bend at the waist when you sit down or you could end up on the floor.
BIZARRO SHOP Fun and cheap!
… Bizarro TIP JAR One-time or repeating. Your choice!
…Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original Bizarro panels