Shrinking Threats
I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of the Bizarro newspaper comic. Each week, I post my Sunday Bizarro comic, a short essay, and then the past week’s Monday-Saturday Bizarro comics written and drawn by my partner Wayno, whose weekly blog post I highly recommend.
And here’s this week’s ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comic’s Secret Symbols.
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Welcome, eyeballs one and all. We’re glad you stopped by.
Because I cleverly programmed my various cartoon and creative writing crap to post on the internet while I was gone, you probably didn’t notice I’ve been on a much-needed vacation.
For a couple of weeks, Olive Oyl and I were in California and visited Yosemite National Park.
Yowza! That place is so not ugly, we could not help but be inspired and humbled.
The mountains are gorgeous, but the trees are unbelievable! Many are even taller than Olive Oyl and even older than I am! Some are older than Julius Ceasar would be if he had survived his assassination! (QAnon theories that he is still alive and performing abortions out of Kamala Harris’s spare bedroom have yet to be confirmed.)
A couple of days ago, I posted a fun story about our trip for my weekly creative writing project The Naked Cartoonist, including some cartoons and photos.
Here’s the opening:
WHERE GOD WALKS THE DOG
The profound benefits of discovering your home planet
I’m not what you’d call an outdoorsman. Yes, I own some plaid shirts and a pair of hiking boots, but no, I’ve never backed a trailer down a boat ramp or frozen my ass off in a tree at dawn hoping something I wanted to kill would wander by.
I’ve hiked a fair amount in my life, however, and spent lots of time outdoors, but at the end of a long, hard nature schlep, I prefer to sleep inside a permanent structure with plumbing, a shower, a comfy bed, internet, and a complete absence of snakes and bears. An electric coffee maker for the morning is nice, too.
I’ve only been “real camping” once, and that was enough…
It continues with a funny story about a camping trip I took with my daughter’s Girl Scout troop when she was little and how I almost lost my life, then moves on to our Yosemite trip. Lots of folks are enjoying it and leaving nice comments.
Here’s a fun photo from it.
Your travel guide being humbled and inspired by an ancient Sequoia.
If you’d like to join in the fun, you can read all my stories (40 so far) for only $5/mo. You’ll get a link to my latest article in your inbox every Friday and you can cancel at any time.
If previous subscribers are any indication, most of you will find my stories to be funny, thought-provoking, and in English.
Time now to see in what language Wayno has entertained us with the week’s Bizarro cartoons!
I wondered if there’s ever been a porn film titled Pandora’s Box, so I googled it. Of course there has.
I’d love to visit Scotland and get an authentic eyeball tam o’shanter.
IMHO, the chief difference between these two products is that one loves itself so much it can scarcely be separated, and the other finds itself repulsive.
It could also be a localized, floating sheep torso.
INTERMISSION: In Wayno’s blog post this week, he includes another couple of photos from Jazz Pickles who’ve snagged some of our swag. Here’s a cropped detail of an accomplished musician in one of our shirts, and his sax case with a marching band of JPs. See Wayno’s post for the complete photos.
Back to the funny business at hand…
She uses Thin Mints like throwing stars.
She only went to grab a piece of pie and a stick of TNT.
That was the finale of our cartoon opera this week, JPs. Thanks for sticking around until the width-challenged, non-binary person sang. If you’re grooving to what we’re laying down and appreciate that it’s free of ads and clickbait, please help us keep it that way via the links below. We’ll write an aria in your honor in gratitude.
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