Bizarro Blog
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Bizarro Pin Contest
Hey, Jazz Pickles! The new set of Bizarro Secret Symbol enamel pins are in and they're flying off the shelf! (Well, we actually keep them in a wooden box, buried in the backyard but that doesn't have the same ring to it.)
String Theory
Back in the mid-80s, a friend of mine was at my house one afternoon when he pulled from his jacket pocket a lump of black plastic roughly the size and weight of a brick and began speaking to it as though it were a person.
Close Shave
A few commenters admonished me about the above cartoon because "beheadings are no laughing matter." Then I got some comments about sensitive skin being no laughing matter, and one about big, hairy, shirtless men in leotards being no laughing matter. I totally agree with that last one.
Bacon in the Sun
At first, this seems like a very dangerous situation for Señor Cerdo, because there are a lot of humans who cannot resist the smell of cooking pig. But fear not; Señor Cerdo is nobody's fool––he and his esposa patronize exclusively swine-only beaches and they always make it back home with their bacon bits intact.
Safety Scythe
If you have kids, chances are that from time to time, your Sunday looks a bit like the scene above. That's why it's important to be certain the kids are using blunted weapons and farm implements in their playtime. You can never be too safe; as you can see, the Grim Reaper's kids are using safety scythes even though they have no eyes to lose.
Grave Rolling
One fun thing about this cartoon is that no matter what your political views, you can (and probably do) imagine the Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves over what America has become. And you’re probably right.
Precious Moments
This is one of those rare cartoons that came from personal experience. I was ten years old when the moon landing was televised "live" and remember watching it on TV with my parents and sisters. I was too young to be as impressed by the achievement as I should have been, but I could see how amazed my parents were and that gave me a sense of reverence and awe.
Not All Dogs Go To Heaven
As predicted, the cartoon above got some angry mail from people who actually need service dogs and think I am saying they don't. I am saying no such thing. My job is to draw pictures that make people laugh and sometimes drawing a person doing something stupid achieves that.
Shirt Yourself
I confess I first published this cartoon way back in the early 90s as a small, weekday comic. But I like the joke so much that I felt it deserved a wider audience than I had back then so I redrew it and jazzed it up with 8 secret symbols for your amusement today.
SubCluckles
In the past year and a half that I've been living in Mexico and learning Spanish, it has occurred to me many times that the only difference between a language a bunch of meaningless noises made with the mouth is a number of people getting together to agree to use the same noise(s) in a given situation.
Creepy Friends
"Emotional Support Therapy Animals," or whatever you prefer to call them, have been in the news lately but I don't read much of that sort of news so I'm not sure what the stories are about. Just for fun, let's assume that the stories were about airlines cracking down on people putting "support animal" vests on their pets when they don't actually need them, then, when asked if they have an actual need for the animal, people get indignant and pissed off that an airline is questioning their disability, when, in fact, they actually don't have one.
Tall Tail Tales
This week's Sunday cartoon is a fun little twist of expectation and I had a grand time drawing it. I'm a fan of lizards (though I do not have any as pets) particularly the prehistoric-seeming nature of them, so drawing them is always a treat.
Dangerous Crops
There was a time when people were romantic about America's "heartland," as though it was where good, wholesome, moral, honest folks came from, as opposed to "big city folk".
All Natural
It's a fun day for Bizarro Jazz Pickles. Not only are there TEN Secret Symbols to find in today's comic (click it to embiggenate it and begin your search!) but I've created a fun, new T-shirt design that I think those of you with a touch of social courage and a certain opinion of overly-used, overly-cute images will enjoy tremendously.
Driven
I've taken Uber or Lyft a few dozen times and with one exception, have always had a positive experience. The exception was in LA and the guy driving our car seemed friendly enough to Olive Oyl and me but was prone to honking at other drivers, cussing them out under his breath, and weaving through traffic to cut people off that he thought had offended him.
Hot Crackers
Olive Oyl and I are not big enough fans of technology to want one of those thingamajigs––whatever you call them––in our house, but we do like to appear to our friends to be "hip" and up-to-date, so I spray painted a tomato juice can black and put it on our coffee table.
A Mile In My Shoes
Remember when you were young and in a band and going to loud concerts and you ignored the advice of adults who warned you about protecting your hearing? Well, as clueless and uncool as those decrepit geezers seemed, either they were correct or they cruelly cast a voodoo spell on you as punishment for ignoring their advice, and you can now only hear about 85% of the syllables people aim at you.
Smell Test
Regular readers of my Bizarro blog are familiar with a guy whom I call "Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay." Wordplay and puns are the easiest and most common kind of humor and cartoonists have varying degrees of tolerance for the category.
Trimmings
I confess I've not actually seen the movie I referenced in this cartoon. I've long been fascinated by the imagery but haven't the foggiest idea how a guy with 12 lbs. of blades growing out of his hands is explained in the movie. Since my joke is mostly just a satire of his name, it probably doesn't matter if you've seen it or not.