Bizarro Blog

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Bitter Truth
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Bitter Truth

As my regular readers know, I call my beloved wife “Olive Oyl,” which was the name of Popeye’s girlfriend. I do this for two reasons:

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Guys and Dolls
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Guys and Dolls

Though I grew up mostly in Oklahoma, I did not have personal contact with cowboys or horses (which no doubt added to my propensity to glorify them) and so my fascination with them faded as I got older and I became obsessed with girls and rockstars instead.

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Reality Options
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Reality Options

Do you know the difference between pain and suffering? Your dharmatologist can help.

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Ground Chuck
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Ground Chuck

I’ve lately come to realize that we each truly create our own reality and that no two are identical. This is a profoundly deep topic that touches on everything from quantum physics to the nature of consciousness to spiritualism, but it’s basically the concept hinted at by the old adage about …

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Meowchoo!
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Meowchoo!

As this cartoon plainly points out, some predictions are easier to make than others.

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Cold Case
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Cold Case

While most cartoonists save their snowman jokes for when it is winter where they live, I decided to be a little less Northern Hemisphere-centric and publish one in June. Also, as I write this, quite a few places in North America are experiencing a record heat wave (no doubt as a result of the elaborate Liberal hoax of “global warming!”) so I figured…

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Plastic Attraction Parable
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Plastic Attraction Parable

…Soon thereafter, the salesman snuck off and stranded the wife in Vegas, where the only job she could find was as an auto valet at the same refrigerator magnet trade show that she used to attend as a celebrity…

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Peas on Earth
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Peas on Earth

Happy moment to you, Jazz Pickles. Some of you are reading this now while others have read it previously and some will read it later. Most will never read it at all or even know it exists. In fact, my entire life and all of the work I’ve done since the middle of the last century or will do before I die will be gone forever in an astronomical blink of an eye.

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Our Potato Heads
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Our Potato Heads

You’ve had this human brain all your life and you’re used to taking for granted how incredible it is, but let’s stop for a moment and think about it.

Physiologically, we’re the same as squirrels: skeleton, muscles, organs, skin, fur, eat, sleep, poop, reproduce, die. It’s easy to think, Yeah, we’re mammals, we just happen to be really smart… Wait, what?

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Legumes
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Legumes

Today’s Sunday cartoon makes me both nostalgic for the past and anxious for the future. Nostalgic for a time when honey-roasted peanuts on commercial airlines were awarded as freely as plastic necklaces at Mardi Gras, and…

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More Puzzles
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

More Puzzles

A few weeks ago, I published a Sunday cartoon with three word puzzles and they were so well received that I rushed to get another one in the lineup. And here it is, Jazz Pickles. As promised.

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Puppy Perp
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Puppy Perp

Welcome to this tiny speck of this universe, viewer. I hope the time you spend here will add positively to your life in some way, or at least be neutral. If it ruins your life, please let me know how I might avoid causing that in future posts.

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Rolling Bones
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Rolling Bones

This kind of combination of names or phrases to create a joke doesn’t have an official name, but my partner, Wayno, specializes in this kind of gag and has named them streptonyms. He explains why…

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Play to Pay
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Play to Pay

There is a saying attributed to Ram Dass that is inaccurate but has a better rhythm than the way he actually said it—“If you think you’re spiritually enlightened, go home for the holidays.” It’s one of my favorite sayings because…

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That Tapping
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

That Tapping

Today’s cartoon (above) is about fear. Does fear frighten you? Fear is a fascinating thing in that it exists solely in the mind…

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Gaffe Out Loud
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Gaffe Out Loud

Welcome to this tiny piece of your overall life experience, my friend. If you decide to read further, I hope you’ll come across something that will lurk amusingly in the shadows of the rest of your day.

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Sod It All
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Sod It All

Today’s cartoon (above) is not about a laundromat. If you thought it was, you weren’t looking carefully enough.

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Say My Name
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Say My Name

I’ll be discussing the strange Sunday cartoon above in a moment, but first I’d like to mention a bit of business from last week.

In my comments on one of Wayno’s cartoons about the generic bathroom sign for males,…

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Comedy, Tragedy, and Water
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Comedy, Tragedy, and Water

The scene above happened at Skywalker Ranch, of course, and if I know George Lucas (I don’t) he had a dump truck full of uncooked rice onhand to revive these movie stars. That’s the first layer of this cartoon.

The second layer is…

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Frankenhuahua
Dan Piraro Dan Piraro

Frankenhuahua

The legend of Frankenhuahua isn’t so much chilling as it is annoying. The local villagers, with frayed nerves from the constant yapping, eventually chased him with torches into the woods. On clear nights, you can still hear his yapping echoing through the forest.

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